Columnist seeks outstanding closing catch phrase

In the 30-plus years of writing a newspaper column, I've achieved nearly all my goals: Won a Pulitzer Prize (actually, it was a Wurlitzer Prize, the chance to briefly sit at an organ in a store), been read by a president (actually, it's the president of the Fairfield-Suisun chapter of the Wham! Fan Club. Namely, me), had a column adapted to a movie (Titanic) and never been suspended (yet).

But an elusive goal remains.

In the thousands (he writes, hoping he hasn't made a horrible math error and that the correct word is actually "dozens") of columns I've crafted, I've never had a catch phrase with which to end the column.

You know, like they do on television. And, likely, in successful columns.

I have no "Seacrest, out" like on "American Idol," or "That's the way it is, Jan. 14, 2018," like Walter Cronkite said in the day, or Paul Harvey's "And now you know . . . the rest of the story."

(Side thought: The fact that two of the three examples I cite were spoken by men who were born 100 years ago is a frightening example of my pop culture relevance.)

Anyway, I haven't given up. It makes sense to have a catch phrase to end each column, so you, the reader, is comfortable.

Not to knock other Daily Republic columnists (which is a lie. I constantly knock them in private), but none have catch-phrase endings. (OK. Kelvin Wade has a catch word, but that doesn't count.) This would put me in the lead in a competition with other columnists that exists only in my mind. I could have a 10-point bonus for having a catch phrase.

So what should it be? The topics I write about are widespread (in the past two months, for instance, I wrote about a Solano County quiz, a message to extraterrestrials, the Toy Hall of Fame, a 53-year-old's baseball comeback and more).

"Seacrest, out," wouldn't apply to those topics and Cronkite's and Harvey's catch phrases are too identified with the late legends.

How about "Keep your feet on the ground and keep reaching for the sky"? (Nope. Casey Kasem, who said that, wasn't as old as Cronkite and Harvey, but he was born in 1932.)

It's time to brainstorm. And to get the session started, here are some ideas:

• "This is Brad Stanhope, standing for hope." Instead of rolling my eyes at all the variations of my last name like I have for decades, I embrace it!
• "You can take that to the bank!" This option works best if you're capping off a column with a prediction or bold statement rather than, say, a missive on your fear of the bubonic plague or desire for a pet monkey to serve as a butler, but still . . . worth considering. Although it's from Robert Blake (born in 1933) in his role as TV's Baretta.
• "Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll be among the stars." This Casey Kasem-like phrase seems encouraging until you realize it makes no sense. The stars are way, way, way, way beyond the moon. Right?
• "I don't mean to brag, I don't mean to boast, but I like hot butter on my breakfast toast." It's a lyric from "Rapper's Delight," (released nearly 40 years ago) but it's also kind of boastful, if you consider the admission that you like butter to be boastful.
• "And remember: I'm not perfect, but at least I'm not Tony Wade." Simple. And true.

There are certainly other options worth considering. I welcome suggestions, so feel free to email me with your picks . . . especially if you remember Walter Cronkite and Paul Harvey. And Robert Blake. And Casey Kasem. And "Rappers Delight."

Stanhope, out.

Reach Brad Stanhope at bradstanhope@hotmail.com.