Remembering the glory days of the Solano Steelheads

My favorite sports memory in Fairfield-Suisun has virtually nothing to do with being a sports editor. It was the three years when a minor league baseball team played in Vacaville.

Those were the  perfect three years for my sons. The first year of Steelheads baseball, my oldest son was 9 , the youngest was 7. When I think of our weekly trips to watch the Steelheads (as a sports writer, I was out there more than that), I remember Mrs. Brad and I sitting in the stands and relaxing, while our sons chased foul balls and ran the bases after the games.

First, the basics. The Steelheads were part of the Western Baseball League, an independent league that varied from six to eight teams and operated from 1995 until 2002. At most, there were teams from four states. By the end, there were six teams, including the Steelheads.

The teams weren't affiliated with major league teams. Players had all either been overlooked by major league organizations or released by a team.

The pay was meager. The playing conditions were sub-optimal. The players were either chasing a dream or trying to extend their playing career as long as possible.

There were a few former major-leaguers on the team over those three years (including Paul Menhardt, who was the pitching coach for the World Series champion Washington Nationals last year). There were some local products who were hoping to get a shot at something bigger. Mostly, it was players who weren't ready to give up on their dream of playing baseball for a living.

The games cost about the same as a movie, so it was a good buy.

The team was owned by a guy who ended up in court with nearly everyone, including the Daily Republic. The business side of it – like many similar outfits – was often a mess. But the baseball side was glorious.

Travis Credit Union Park held about 2,800 fans, although the team averaged less than 1,000 per game. Still, it was Solano County's team.

Over the three years, the Steelheads' roster was reasonably stable. Their greatest player – probably the best player in the entire league – was a catcher named Vic Sanchez. Sanchez was the home run king of the league, leading the league with 31 homers in 2001 and 22 in 2002. Sanchez also reportedly worked at a hospital in Stockton, driving up for home games. It was that kind of league.

The owner had some sort of pipeline to Australia, so there were always Aussies on the team. There was a mascot (Sammy Steelhead). Travis Air Force Base sent a C-5 over the ballpark on opening night, a slow-motion version of when jets soar over major league ballparks. It was funny and fun.

Our family's highlight was probably when my oldest son (now a professional artist) made signs for when they gave away free pizza to the loudest fans. Each of us had a sign, and we chanted "We Want Pizza!"

We got pizza.

Three summers of going to ballgames, watching our sons have fun and cheering on working-class baseball players.

Like many such enterprises, things ultimately went sideways. The team folded and a college all-star team replaced them in the ballpark for a few years.  In 2008, the ballpark was disassembled and sold to Simpson College in Redding. The site is now part of the Nut Tree Complex.

There's now a team in Vallejo, the Admirals. Last year we went to a game (with our oldest son, our daughter-in-law and our granddaughter) and watched. We'll go again.

But when the weather starts warming and baseball returns – which will happen, sometime – I will remember those summers when the Steelheads were in Vacaville.

Glory days, I guess.

Reach Brad Stanhope at bradstanhope@hotmail.com.

Let's simplify things by shrinking the alphabet

With all this extra time to think, something became obvious: It's time to simplify the alphabet.

We're in unprecedented times, why not make the world a better place? Let's fix the alphabet.

Crazy? Maybe, but there's nothing sacred about 26 letters making up the English alphabet. In fact, our alphabet has had 26 letters only since the 16th century. Before that, variations of the alphabet was more fluid.

U and V were the same letter. J didn't exist. The ampersand (&) was a letter.

Seriously. (Or seriovsly, depending on how you view it.)

The current 26 letters were generally agreed to by the late 16th century, then Robert Cawdry published the first English dictionary in 1604. That set a new standard. (Interesting point: Cawdry's dictionary doesn't have several words we have now: "Twitter," "twerk" and "photobomb" were inexplicably left out.)

It's time to change.

Why should we change now? Two reasons (in addition to the lockdown due to the coronavirus outbreak (or coronauirus, depending on your 16th-century preference):

• It's been 400 years and it's time to change. Since 1600, we've seen massive changes in health care, media, entertainment, communication and how the public views men wearing big white wigs. The alphabet is due a change.
• We can simplify. There are redundancies in our alphabet. Also, a drop to 25 makes the number a better choice. Twenty-five is a square number. It's one-quarter of 100. Barry Bonds and Fred Biletnikoff each wore No. 25. Orson Wells wrote, directed and starred in "Citizen Kane" at age 25. Charles Lindbergh flew across the Atlantic at age 25.

So 25 letters, with one elimination. And one other change:

Eliminate C. With one exception (which is easily addressed), "C" could be replaced by "S" or "K" in virtually all words and keep the same sound. Quick: Think of any word with a "C." Replace it "K" or "S." Right?

The one exception ("exseption?") is the "ch" sound. However, I'd suggest that can be replaced by "sh," even though it means my oldest son's name would be Shad, instead of Chad. Now that I think of it, Shad is a pretty cool name.

Let's get rid of C.

Make Qu a letter. This is so obvious it makes me uncomfortable to suggest it. It's like telling someone they have their shirt on backward – you wonder if it's a trick and they're just testing you. The letter Q never appears without being immediately followed by a "U." (If you play Scrabble, don't tell me some weird word. That's not a real word. No one uses it in real life.)

That we have Q as a standalone letter is like if Black operated separate from Decker, but no one bought anything from him (her?). Or if Lewis insisted he was an explorer, but only really traveled with Clark. Or if Art Garfunkel . . . had exactly the musical career that he had.

Art Garfunkel is the music equivalent of Q! I could have saved myself two paragraphs had I realized that earlier.

Anyway, there you have it. I just simplified the alphabet.

In the middle of a health crisis, this feels like a kon(qu)est.

Reach Brad Stanhope at bradstanhope@hotmail.com.

How did Jesus address a crisis? Here's a daily Bible study guide for this week

Introduction

The following chapters of the Bible tell the story of Jesus and his disciples at a time of crisis: Jesus was about to be arrested and crucified. We read how Jesus comforted his disciples and clarified issues about who he is and where he fits during frightening, confusing times.
Sound familiar?
Here is a guide I wrote to three chapters of the Bible to help you see where Jesus fits in crisis. This doesn't tell you what or how to think. That's up to you. There are some questions after each passage to consider.
For each day, read the passage, then think about and answer the five questions at the end. This week will take us through three chapters of the book of John.

Day 1

John 14:1-14

1 “Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God; believe also in me. 2 My Father’s house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you? 3 And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. 4 You know the way to the place where I am going.”
5 Thomas said to him, “Lord, we don’t know where you are going, so how can we know the way?”
6 Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. 7 If you really know me, you will know my Father as well. From now on, you do know him and have seen him.”
8 Philip said, “Lord, show us the Father and that will be enough for us.”
9 Jesus answered: “Don’t you know me, Philip, even after I have been among you such a long time? Anyone who has seen me has seen the Father. How can you say, ‘Show us the Father’? 10 Don’t you believe that I am in the Father, and that the Father is in me? The words I say to you I do not speak on my own authority. Rather, it is the Father, living in me, who is doing his work. 11 Believe me when I say that I am in the Father and the Father is in me; or at least believe on the evidence of the works themselves. 12 Very truly I tell you, whoever believes in me will do the works I have been doing, and they will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father. 13 And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Father may be glorified in the Son. 14 You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it.

Questions

1. Why did Jesus begin with words of comfort in verses 1-4? How do the words in the first few verses comfort you? What perspective was he trying to give his disciples and how does that apply to now?
2. In verses 5-14, Jesus emphasizes that he and the Father are one. Why do you think that matters?
3. Jesus emphasizes (in verse 12) that he needed to go to the Father for the disciples to be able to do “even greater things than these.” Why do you think that’s the case?
4.  If you were one of the original disciples and heard this, how would you react? How do you react now?
5. What do you learn about Jesus from this passage?

Day 2

John 14:15-31

15 “If you love me, keep my commands. 16 And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another advocate to help you and be with you forever— 17 the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be in you. 18 I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you. 19 Before long, the world will not see me anymore, but you will see me. Because I live, you also will live. 20 On that day you will realize that I am in my Father, and you are in me, and I am in you. 21 Whoever has my commands and keeps them is the one who loves me. The one who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I too will love them and show myself to them.”
22 Then Judas (not Judas Iscariot) said, “But, Lord, why do you intend to show yourself to us and not to the world?”
23 Jesus replied, “Anyone who loves me will obey my teaching. My Father will love them, and we will come to them and make our home with them. 24 Anyone who does not love me will not obey my teaching. These words you hear are not my own; they belong to the Father who sent me.
25 “All this I have spoken while still with you. 26 But the Advocate, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you. 27 Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.
28 “You heard me say, ‘I am going away and I am coming back to you.’ If you loved me, you would be glad that I am going to the Father, for the Father is greater than I. 29 I have told you now before it happens, so that when it does happen you will believe. 30 I will not say much more to you, for the prince of this world is coming. He has no hold over me, 31 but he comes so that the world may learn that I love the Father and do exactly what my Father has commanded me.
“Come now; let us leave.”

Questions

1. Remembering that Jesus promised in the previous verses (read Monday) that the disciples will be able to do greater things than him after he left. How does the start of this passage fit with that?
2. Re-read verses 15-21. What is Jesus saying about the connection between our obedience and how he can work in us? What can you do to more fully obey God?
3. Verse 27 talks about peace. How does Jesus give us peace that’s different from what the world gives? How do you access Jesus’ peace?
4. If you were a disciple and heard verse 28-31, what would you think? How does history change that? How does that affect how you believe Jesus can work in your situation now?
5. What do you learn about Jesus from this passage?

Day 3

John 15:1-8

1 “I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. 2 He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful. 3 You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. 4 Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.
5 “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. 6 If you do not remain in me, you are like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned. 7 If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. 8 This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.

Questions

1. Based on what you know about gardening, what does Jesus mean in verses 1-6?
2. What can you do to “remain in” Jesus? How can you connect to the vine better?
3. How has God “pruned” you in your life? When have you had things cut away to make you healthier?
4. What can you do to make yourself more connected to the vine and able to bear fruit? How much is your responsibility, how much is God’s?
5. What do you learn about Jesus from this passage?

Day 4

John 15:9-17

9 “As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. 10 If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commands and remain in his love. 11 I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. 12 My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. 13 Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. 14 You are my friends if you do what I command. 15 I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. 16 You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit—fruit that will last—and so that whatever you ask in my name the Father will give you. 17 This is my command: Love each other.

Questions

1. What do you learn from verses 9-10 about “remaining in Jesus’ love?”
2. Jesus connects obedience and joy in verse 11. Have you found that true? Why or why not?
3. This is a point where Jesus’ relationship with his disciples (and us) changes. What do you think we should learn from verses 14-16?
4. “Love” or a variation of it appears eight times in these eight verses. What do you think Jesus means by “love”? How does it look?
5. What do you learn about who Jesus is in this passage?

Day 5

John 16:1-15

1 “All this I have told you so that you will not fall away. 2 They will put you out of the synagogue; in fact, the time is coming when anyone who kills you will think they are offering a service to God. 3 They will do such things because they have not known the Father or me. 4 I have told you this, so that when their time comes you will remember that I warned you about them. I did not tell you this from the beginning because I was with you, 5 but now I am going to him who sent me. None of you asks me, ‘Where are you going?’ 6 Rather, you are filled with grief because I have said these things. 7 But very truly I tell you, it is for your good that I am going away. Unless I go away, the Advocate will not come to you; but if I go, I will send him to you. 8 When he comes, he will prove the world to be in the wrong about sin and righteousness and judgment: 9 about sin, because people do not believe in me; 10 about righteousness, because I am going to the Father, where you can see me no longer; 11 and about judgment, because the prince of this world now stands condemned.
12 “I have much more to say to you, more than you can now bear. 13 But when he, the Spirit of truth, comes, he will guide you into all the truth. He will not speak on his own; he will speak only what he hears, and he will tell you what is yet to come. 14 He will glorify me because it is from me that he will receive what he will make known to you. 15 All that belongs to the Father is mine. That is why I said the Spirit will receive from me what he will make known to you.”

Questions

1. How would you feel if you were a disciple and heard what Jesus said in verse 4?
2. Jesus repeats (in verse 7) a theme he discussed earlier: That it’s good for the disciples for him to go away. Why is that? Would it seem that way to them at the time?
3. Verses 7-15 talk about the role of the Holy Spirit. Based on this passage, what does the Holy Spirit do?
4. The disciples were in a crisis during this time. How did Jesus’ words comfort them?
5. What do you learn about who Jesus is in this passage?

Day 6

John 16:16-33

16 Jesus went on to say, “In a little while you will see me no more, and then after a little while you will see me.”
17 At this, some of his disciples said to one another, “What does he mean by saying, ‘In a little while you will see me no more, and then after a little while you will see me,’ and ‘Because I am going to the Father’?” 18 They kept asking, “What does he mean by ‘a little while’? We don’t understand what he is saying.”
19 Jesus saw that they wanted to ask him about this, so he said to them, “Are you asking one another what I meant when I said, ‘In a little while you will see me no more, and then after a little while you will see me’? 20 Very truly I tell you, you will weep and mourn while the world rejoices. You will grieve, but your grief will turn to joy. 21 A woman giving birth to a child has pain because her time has come; but when her baby is born she forgets the anguish because of her joy that a child is born into the world. 22 So with you: Now is your time of grief, but I will see you again and you will rejoice, and no one will take away your joy. 23 In that day you will no longer ask me anything. Very truly I tell you, my Father will give you whatever you ask in my name. 24 Until now you have not asked for anything in my name. Ask and you will receive, and your joy will be complete.
25 “Though I have been speaking figuratively, a time is coming when I will no longer use this kind of language but will tell you plainly about my Father. 26 In that day you will ask in my name. I am not saying that I will ask the Father on your behalf. 27 No, the Father himself loves you because you have loved me and have believed that I came from God. 28 I came from the Father and entered the world; now I am leaving the world and going back to the Father.”
29 Then Jesus’ disciples said, “Now you are speaking clearly and without figures of speech. 30 Now we can see that you know all things and that you do not even need to have anyone ask you questions. This makes us believe that you came from God.”
31 “Do you now believe?” Jesus replied. 32 “A time is coming and in fact has come when you will be scattered, each to your own home. You will leave me all alone. Yet I am not alone, for my Father is with me.
33 “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

Questions

1. The disciples remain confused in verses 16-18. How does Jesus explain things to them in verses 19-24?
2. If you were a disciple, how would you respond to Jesus’ explanation?
3. In verse 29, the disciples begin to see clearly. Why and what do you think of Jesus’ reaction to that?
4. In verse 31-32, Jesus acknowledges that the disciples believe, but still makes a startling prediction (which came true) about them. What do you learn about Jesus with what he says then in verse 33?
5. What do you learn about who Jesus is in this passage?

Song vs. Song: Official Home of March Bradness 2020©

RESULTS/SCHEDULE

(Boldface indicates winner)
CHAMPIONSHIP
Hey Jude (4) vs. Bohemian Rhapsody (4)

SEMIFINALS
Folsom Prison Blues (1) vs. Hey Jude (4)
Hotel California (14) vs. Bohemian Rhapsody (4)

QUARTERFINALS
Folsom Prison Blues (1) vs. Ring of Fire (14)
Hotel California (14) vs. American Pie (9)
House of the Rising Sun (10) vs. Bohemian Rhapsody (4)
Hey Jude (4) vs. Satisfaction (3)

THIRD ROUND
Folsom Prison Blues (1) vs. Bridge Over Troubled Water (4)
American Pie (9) vs. Don't Stop Believin' (13)
Ring of Fire (14) vs. Refugee (15)
Hotel California (14) vs. Yesterday (2)
Satisfaction (3) vs. My Girl (10)
Let It Be (11) vs. House of the Rising Sun (10)
Superstition (1) vs. Hey Jude (4)
ABC (8) vs. Bohemian Rhapsody (4)

SECOND ROUND
Bridge Over Troubled Water (4) vs. Billie Jean (5)
Ode to Billy Joe (5) vs. Don't Stop Believin' (13)
Folsom Prison Blues (1) vs. Sounds of Silence (9)
Hotel California (14) vs. Sweet Home Alabama (6)
Uptown Funk (10) vs. Refugee (15)
Desperado (10) vs. Yesterday (2)
Ring of Fire (14) vs. I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For (11)
Imagine (1) vs. American Pie (9)
Hey Jude (4) vs. Good Vibrations (5)
Satisfaction (3) vs. Like a Rolling Stone (11)
Respect (14) vs. Let It Be (11)
My Girl (10) vs. Let's Stay Together (2)
Maggie May (5) vs. Bohemian Rhapsody (4)
Superstition (1) vs. Walk This Way (8)
House of the Rising Sun (10) vs. Mack the Knife (15)
You Shook Me All Night Long (16) vs. ABC (8)

FIRST ROUND

Bridge over Troubled Water vs. Stairway to Heaven
Maggie May vs. Midnight Train to Georgia
The Gambler vs. Mack The Knife
Hey Jude vs. Piano Man
Your Song vs. Sounds of Silence
The Weight vs. Respect
Yeah vs. Don't Stop Believing
I Will Always Love You vs. Like a Rolling Stone
Come On Eileen vs. Uptown Funk
Moon River vs. Ring of Fire
Satisfaction vs. I Heard it Through the Grapevine
Night Moves vs. My Girl
Summer Wind vs. House of the Rising Son
Somewhere Over the Rainbow vs. Hotel California
Unforgettable vs. Desperado
Billie Jean vs. Lido Shuffle
Good Vibrations vs. Wreck of the Edmond Fitzgerald
Ode to Billie Joe vs. Staying Alive
Walk This Way vs. Nothing Compares 2U
ABC vs. Mammas Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up To Be Cowboys
Lose Yourself vs. American Pie
Folsom Prison Blues vs. Tiny Dancer
Superstition vs. The Times They Are A-Changin'
Free Bird vs. I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For
September vs. Let It Be
Imagine vs. She's Gone
Sweet Home Alabama vs. Born To Run
Easy vs. Refugee
Let's Stay Together vs. Walk on the Wild Side
Yesterday vs. Dancing Queen
Bohemian Rhapsody vs. Hallelujah
The Way We Were vs. You Shook Me All Night Long

PLAY-IN ROUND

Baba O'Reily vs. Tiny Dancer
The Times They Are A-Changin' vs. Under Pressure
Ignition (Remix) vs. You Shook Me All Night Long
She's Gone vs. El Paso

Nominated songs:
ABC
Ain't No Sunshine
American Pie
Angie
Baba O'Reily
Beethoven's Fifth
Billie Jean
Blue Eyes Crying in the Rain
Bohemian Rhapsody
Born to Run
Bridge Over Troubled Water
California Girls (Beach Boys)
Come on Eileen
Crazy (Patsy Cline version)
Dancing Queen
Desperado
Don't Stop Believing
Easy
El Paso
Folsom Prison Blues
Free Bird
Good Vibrations
Hallelujah (Jeff Buckley version)
Hey Jude
Hey Ya
Higher Ground
Hotel California
House of the Rising Sun
If you Don't Know Me by Now
Ignition (Remix)
I Heard It Through the Grapevine
I'll Be There
Imagine
I Will Always Love You
Lady (Commodores)

Let it Be
Let's Stay Together

Lido Shuffle
Like a Rolling Stone
Lose Yourself

Luckenbach, Texas

Mack the Knife

Maggie May
Mammas Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to be Cowboys
Midnight Train to Georgia

Mmm Bop
Moon River
My Girl
Night Moves
Nothing Compares 2 U
Ode to Billy Joe

One for my Baby
Over the Rainbow
Piano Man
Refugee

Respect
Ring of Fire
Satisfaction
September
She's Gone
Sounds of Silence
Stand by Your Man
Stairway to Heaven
Staying Alive
Summer Wind
Superstition
Sweet Caroline
Sweet Home Alabama
The Gambler
The Times The Are A-Changin'
The Way We Were

The Way You Look Tonight

The Weight
The Wreck of the Edmond Fizgerald
Three Times a Lady
Tiny Dancer
Under Pressure
Unforgettable
Uptown Funk

Walk on the Wild Side

Walk This Way (Aerosmith/Run DMC version)
Yeah
Yesterday
You Can't Always Get What You Want
You Dropped a Bomb on Me

Your Song
You Shook Me All Night Long

So about that cruise we said we were taking . . .

In the end, common sense won out.

Mrs. Brad and I were scheduled to depart Saturday on a seven-day cruise to Mexico. Even as the coronavirus scare gained steam, we planned to go – in fact, I wrote about it four weeks ago in this space, including this paragraph: "Ultimately, fear won't stop us from having fun. We saved up for this and want to go. We want to relax on the sunny decks, eat when we want and watch a second-rate comedian make us laugh."

There was no reason to fear. The boat would be clean. We wouldn't give into hysteria. This was like the flu, maybe a bit worse. We would take our trip.

After that column appeared, friends asked if we were still going. Of course we were, I said. We don't scare easily. We're just as much at risk in the Bay Area as on a boat in the Pacific Ocean.

Then the news got a little worse.

People were trapped in a cruise ship off Japan. We didn't worry. We were taking a round-trip cruise from Los Angeles. We'd be fine.

When the Grand Princess cruise was held offshore in the San Francisco Bay, things got a little worse. Our cruise was a Princess cruise . . . but not from San Francisco.

The cruise line sent an email detailing how it would assure safety: No one would be allowed on board if they'd traveled to Asia in the past month or if they had a fever. Extra precautions would be taken to make sure everything was sanitized.

Our enthusiasm waned, but we still planned to go. It's not as if coronavirus is a death sentence.

We could even handle a worst-case scenario of a quarantine. We'd bring our laptops and work remotely if necessary. But what were the odds we'd be quarantined? There's no safer time to take a cruise than right after a virus outbreak, right?

Then last weekend arrived.

The Grand Princess stayed anchored offshore, with thousands aboard. The cruise scheduled to leave the same port as ours for the same destination, seven days earlier – was delayed, then cancelled, without explanation.

We still planned to go. It would be figured out.

Sunday came and the U.S. State Department issued an advisory that "U.S. citizens, particularly travelers with underlying health conditions, should not travel by cruise ship."

Monday came and the Center for Disease Control issued a warning: "travelers, particularly those with underlying health issues, defer all cruise ship travel worldwide. . . . Older adults and travelers with underlying health issues should avoid situations that put them at increased risk for more severe disease."

OK. Time to re-evaluate. While I often joke about it, I'm in a high-risk population: I'm a Type 1 diabetic.

We're not 60 – their definition of "older" – but we're close. When the CDC and the State Department both warn you not to go, it seems crazy to go.

So we talked it over. We changed our plans.

We can take a cruise later (the cruise line won't refund the money, it will just give you a credit to use it later) and will instead take an alternative, local vacation this week.

Of course by the end of the week, it was a moot point. Cruises are cancelled. Sports are cancelled. Schools are cancelled. Disneyland is closed.

I realize that of all the problems associated with the coronavirus outbreak, ours is a mild inconvenience. We're not sick. We're not quarantined. We just had a vacation postponed.

Someone will read this and think, "so what? You're an older couple who has enough money to take a cruise. I don't feel bad for you."

They're right. It's only an inconvenience.

Reach Brad Stanhope at bradstanhope@hotmail.com.

You think the coronavirus is scary? Locusts are swarming!

Just in case you aren't freaked out enough by the coronavirus, consider this: Billions of locusts are eating their way across Africa and Asia.

Yes. Locusts. And India has a low-tech solution that is either crazy or brilliant.

First, though, the coronavirus. I'll grant you that it's scary. I've seen "Outbreak" and similar movies enough to know that we just a week away from an ominous map showing the explosive growth of a deadly, zombie-creating virus. I've seen the empty grocery-store shelves where hand sanitizer is supposed to be. This is scary.

But it could be worse.

In Africa and Asia, swarms of locusts have destroyed crops. In Africa, locusts descended on Kenya and are moving toward Uganda. In Asia, locusts infested Pakistan and are moving toward China and India.

It's the worst swarms of locusts in 70 years, meaning . . . (checks statistics) all of our remaining presidential candidates were already alive the last time this happened. So maybe it wasn't that long ago?

Anyway, the swarms of locusts are hitting the most vulnerable parts of the world. In Africa, for instance, locusts are threatening South Sudan, where people don't have enough to eat due to crop failures and a brutal civil war.

Keith Cressman is the United Nations Food and Agriculture Organizations' senior locust forecasting officer (talk about a specific job. Seems like he might not be busy for months at a time, then he's incredibly busy. But I digress). Cressman says that a medium-sized swarm of locusts can eat the same amount  of food as everyone in New Jersey, Pennsylvania and New York.

That's a lot of cheese steaks and pizza slices, am I right?

We can joke about it (OK, I can joke about it), but this is horrifying. Imagine living somewhere and suddenly the sky is blackened and billions of locusts swarm in and eat everything.

The swarms have come because of unusually heavy rains and a December cyclone, which carried the locusts from the Arabian Peninsula to Africa. More rains are coming and experts say there could be 500 times more locusts by summer.

Five hundred times the billions of locusts. I'm no math expert, but that's a lot.

I've seen enough end-of-days movies to know that this doesn't end here. The locusts will somehow (airplanes? boats? wind storms?) make it around the world and attack us.

This happened before. In America.

In 1874, locusts swarmed in Kansas, blocking the sun for as long as six hours and covering every plant in site. After eating all the crops, locusts invaded farmers' houses, devouring everything they could find. The infestation covered Kansas, Iowa, Minnesota, the Dakotas and Missouri.

In Pakistan, though, they have a plan. They plan to import 100,000 Chinese ducks (I presume the ducks just come from China. I don't think they're ethnically Chinese) to eat the locusts. A duck can apparently eat 200 locusts a day (my math says that 100,000 ducks would then be able to eat 20 million locusts a day, meaning it would take them 50 days to eat a billion locusts), so it's a long-term job.

While we fight the coronavirus by washing our hands frequently and stocking up on supplies, people in other parts of the world are combating billions of locusts. The chief weapon is a bunch of  hungry ducks.

If anyone needs me, you can find me hiding in my bomb shelter, trying not to hyperventilate.

Reach Brad Stanhope at bradstanhope@hotmail.com.

Solano County urban legends? Here are three I've 'heard'

Nobody knows more about Solano County than Tony Wade. But in his recent column about an appearance on a TV show about local legends, Tony admitted that he was asked about local urban legends and had no answer.

What?

Tony – who can talk about everything from what stores were in downtown Fairfield in the 1960s and the history of the marching bands at Fairfield and Armijo high schools to Wonder World and Sambo's restaurant – didn't have any urban legends to share?

I do.

I know urban legends. I might make up urban legends.

I've previously written about the possibility of Kim Kardashian attending Vanden High School and Jimmy Carter owning land near Bird's Landing. I've shared the legend of John F. Kennedy water skiing in Suisun City and the possibility that the song "Hotel California" is about a Vacaville motel.

Those urban legends were shared in 2014 and 2017. Now it's 2020. A new decade, a new opportunity for urban legends.

I'm not saying the following stories are true. In fact, I'm saying they're probably not true – or at least impossible to prove. But let's spread the word and create urban legends so that the next time Tony is asked about urban legends on TV, he has an answer.

Here are three urban legends you may not know:

Suisun Slough Creature. There's (allegedly) a reason the Suisun Slough is dredged only every decade or so: A huge creature lives there.

I heard that a guy who saw it between downtown Suisun City and Grizzly Island a few years ago claims the creature is at least 80 feet long. The creature is shy (which is why so few people have seen it), but the Department of Fish and Game presumably know about it. They won't confirm it because it would create chaos in the slough.

Maybe it's true. Maybe not. But I'm not taking any chances.

"Harper Valley" is really Vacaville. "Harper Valley PTA," won the 1968 Grammy for Song of the Year by telling the story of a small-town parent-teacher association's criticism of a student's mother, followed by her harsh critique of their hypocrisy. Songwriter Tom T. Hall might deny it, but I've heard that similarities to a 1965 situation in Vacaville are too striking to ignore–including  the protagonist being "Mrs. Johnson."

A guy I used to play basketball with said his aunt is sure the song is about Vacaville. Might be true.

Amelia Earhart's airplane is at Travis Air Force Base. The famed aviation pioneer went missing in 1937 on a flight across the Pacific Ocean. Her body and her plane was never recovered. Allegedly.

A friend of a former co-worker had a civilian job at Travis and said that pilots discovered Earhart's Lockheed plane in the 1970s while doing practice flights from Honolulu to Australia. A top-secret mission recovered it and the plane was sent back to Travis, where it sits in an otherwise-vacant warehouse. It's not clear why the Air Force would keep the plane secret, but some people say it's due to a 100-year order issued a year after Earhart disappeared to keep the government's role secret.

I guess we'll find out in 2038. If it's true. Which it might be.

Solano County is an interesting place to live. But a giant water creature, a famed aviator's plane being stored here and a Grammy Award-winning song possibly being inspired by a local city?  Those legends would be legendary.

Reach Brad Stanhope at bradstanhope@hotmail.com.