Ketchup? Mustard? Perhaps salsa or ranch dressing?
You're on the right track, but you missed out on America's favorite condiment. Which is reasonable because America's favorite condiment isn't a condiment. It's a main ingredient and the people who took the survey – or perhaps the people who conducted the survey – are goofballs.
Because according to a survey by YouGov.com, America's favorite condiment is . . .
Ready?
Peanut butter.
Yes, that great condiment, peanut butter.
Peanut butter is a condiment? If so, is turkey a condiment? Is baloney? Is anything that's the main ingredient in a popular sandwich?
According to Merriam-Webster Dictionary, a source I use to confirm my beliefs, defines condiments as, "something (such as a seasoning, sauce, garnish, or topping) that is added to food usually after the food is prepared and that enhances or adds to its flavor." That doesn't describe peanut butter (unless "after the food is prepared" means "after the bread is baked, packaged, shipped, stocked, sold and brought home").
So, I'd say definitely not. Peanut butter is not a condiment.
But in a survey of 1,100 American adults, peanut butter was the favorite condiment. Of those surveyed, 89% of people love or like peanut butter and only 4% dislike it, giving it a slight edge over honey (76% love or like it) and salsa (75% love or like it) as the favorite condiment. Which brings another question: Is honey a condiment?
Alas, I'll take this victory, since I believe peanut butter to be the world's greatest food (edging out pizza).
The beauty of peanut butter is its utility. It can be eaten on a sandwich, but also by itself. It does meet the "condiment" definition when added to ice cream or another similar dish. So any award for peanut butter is great (in the same way that a Leonardo DiCaprio fan would welcome him winning a Daytime Emmy for a guest performance on a soap opera).
Back to the initial question: What's your favorite condiment and how weird are you? For context, after peanut butter, honey and salsa, the rest of the top five are barbecue sauce and chocolate sauce.
Let's settle on another definition for condiment. My recommendation is relatively close to the Merriam-Webster definition: Something you add to a hot dog or taco to make it better.
Beyond salsa, the main condiments using that definition are ketchup and mustard, which ranked sixth and 13th on this list, with surprising choices maple syrup (really?) and ranch dressing (OK, that's fine), making the top 10.
It's all very confusing, but this isn't the first time in the past decade that I've been baffled by Americans' voting choices. It's further proof that I don't have my finger on the pulse of Americans' beliefs, perhaps because that finger is dipping into a jar of peanut butter to get a quick taste of something that's clearly not a condiment.
Here's an interesting point from this survey, though: We love condiments. Among those listed, only fish sauce had more than 15% saying they "hate it," presumably because those voters decided to try a peanut butter and fish sauce sandwich and realized the peanut butter wasn't what made them gag.
The survey also confirms what you suspect: Ketchup is the condiment owned by most Americans, just ahead of peanut butter (not really a condiment) and mayonnaise.
I'm not even sure what the takeaway is from this information. Is it that people think peanut butter is a condiment? Is it that the survey-takers accidentally included peanut butter in this list? Is it that people like maple syrup on their hot dogs more than mustard?
Americans are confusing, but at least we have this in common: We love our condiments, even if they are not really condiments.
Reach Brad Stanhope at bradstanhope@outlook.com.
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