Approaching our upcoming cruise without fear

In a few weeks, Mrs. Brad and I will depart from Long Beach on a one-week cruise to Mexico.

Everyone acts like we're crazy, because of the coronavirus.

The coronavirus has not only terrified anyone who has seen "Outbreak," it famously stranded hundreds of cruise ship passengers in Japan, with dozens and dozens of people contracting the virus and the Japanese government refusing to let people come ashore. Another cruise ship – despite reporting zero cases of coronavirus – went from port to port in Asia before being accepted in Cambodia.

For the cruise ship world, this is no carnival.

Get it? Carnival?

Anyway, our friends think  people on cruise ships risk being stranded like "Gilligan's Island." Except on a boat. And with the ability to see other people. And no hammocks, I presume. But otherwise, like Gilligan's Island. Oh, probably no Mr. and Mrs. Howell, either. But still, it's risky.

Nearly everyone who knows we're planning this vacation shudders at our plans.

Our friends have forgotten that there are plenty of other reasons to fear a cruise ship, including regular outbreaks of norovirus (Wait. That just made it seem worse).

We've gone on two previous cruises. Other than a few experiences with seasickness – one night hugging the toilet, another day getting queasy while on an outing on choppy water – our cruises have been surprisingly fun. I didn't expect that. I thought I wouldn't  like the cheesy entertainment and food. I thought I would see the same people over. I thought I'd get stir crazy. I expected to tolerate, but not enjoy, a cruise.

However, we enjoyed our cruises enough that we're going again.

I don't think we'll get sick. I think we'll have fun. I think we'll enjoy the cheesy entertainment. And here's three other things that I think – or know – will happen.

• At some point, Mrs. Brad and I will be near the front of the ship and one of us will do the "king of the world" scene from "Titanic," with arms outstretched, leaning forward. (It's far, far, far more likely that it will be me).
• At some point, I'll turn to Mrs. Brad and shout out a line from "The Poseidon Adventure": "You have to go down to go up! The ship is upside down!" Even though the ship will hopefully be right-side up. (Note: That may not be an accurate quote from the script.)
• I will at some point call it a "Pablo Cruise," referencing a band that was last popular 45 years ago.
• I will at some point highlight absurdity of people fearing the coronavirus. Then I'll feel slightly sick – and wonder if I jinxed myself.

Ultimately, fear won't stop us from having fun. We saved up for this and want to go. We want to relax on the sunny decks, eat when we want and watch a second-rate comedian make us laugh.

Mrs. Brad and I are not afraid of the coronavirus and will remain unafraid until the inevitable day when I feel slightly sick and panic. But then I'll shout, "You have to go down to go up! The ship is upside down!" at Mrs. Brad.

Everything will be fine.

Reach Brad Stanhope at bradstanhope@hotmail.com.