Scientists think Earth doomed: I disagree

We're 44 percent doomed and it's our own fault.

That's not me saying it. It's science!

According to a paper published in the journal Science last week and written about on the blog site Science 2.0 (it has to be real science! Otherwise, they couldn't write about it in Science and on Science 2.0!), the Earth has crossed four of nine "planetary boundaries" that keep it functioning well.

According to the paper, the four "boundaries" that are already beyond that point of no return (Incidentally, there was a 1977 album by Kansas called "Point of Know Return." It included "Dust in the Wind.") are climate change, the loss of biosphere integrity, land-system change and altered biogeochemical cycles like phosphorus and nitrogen runoff. Of the four, I kind of understand climate change.

The paper says that for approximately the past 12,000 years, our planet was stable. Starting about 100 years ago, human occupation began to wear on Earth like a relative who stays too long and starts helping himself to food from the refrigerator. Now four of the nine significant indicators are fouled up.

The report focused particularly on the biochemical cycles. While attempting to understand, I drifted off and starting thinking of other cycles – the triple is the hardest part of baseball's "hitting for the cycle," unicycles seem impossible to ride, the song "Circle of Life" should be "Cycle of Life."

Then it hit me: I suspect the scientists are focused on the wrong things, because everybody knows that if you lose something, you can always replace it. There are always other fish in the sea. There's more than one way to skin a cat. I'm sure there are other PETA-unfriendly sayings, too.

So what if we've screwed up things in the past 100 years? Think of all the great things we've added – things that make life better.

A century ago, many homes didn't have indoor plumbing. They lacked Internet access. Not only was there no "Real Housewives of Beverly Hills," there was no TV! Major League Baseball was limited to 16 teams in the East.

More?

How about microwave popcorn? Starbucks? Cellphones? The zipper (I think it was invented earlier, but go with me here)? Nyquil?

I'll take what we have now for what we had in 1915, even with the loss of the stuff I don't understand.

Are you going to tell me that the invention of the automobile, the eradication of polio, the institution of the eight-hour workday and discovery of antibiotics don't offset the "loss of biosphere integrity"?

Balderdash.

I'm not buying that we're doomed – or even 44 percent doomed. The scientists say that conditions during the past 12,000 years, known as the Holocene epoch (like how the 1990s were known as the Tupac epoch), we lived in a world that was perfectly suited for us.

Then World War I kicked off, movie theaters opened and John Garamendi began running for office. That's when things started going downhill, according to the guys in white coats, who insist that we're nearly halfway to blowing it all.

"It might be possible for human civilization to live outside Holocene conditions, but it's never been tried before," co-author Steve Carpenter says.

I'll just say this. Steve Carpenter is a fine name for an athlete or an auto mechanic or someone who attended high school with you. But a scientist? Nah.

You can have science and all its "smarts." I remember this: Science brought us New Coke, Bruce Jenner's new face(s) and the steroids era in baseball. If science tells me we've blown 44 percent of our important "boundaries," I say this: We've still got a 56 percent chance. Oh, and I just looked it up and saw that the term "zipper" started being used in 1923.

Trust me, we'll be fine.

Brad Stanhope is a former Daily Republic editor. Reach him at bradstanhope@hotmail.com.

Diabetes will be the death of me – soon

My day, as usual, was going along pretty well. I walked around whistling the theme from "The Andy Griffith Show" while waving at people and thinking, "There's no such thing as strangers, just friends I haven't met."

Then I saw the article and everything turned gloomy.

The headline said, "Type 1 Diabetes Linked To Lower Life Expectancy."

Oh no.

I'm doomed.

The article was on the website WebMD, where you go to find out if your illness could be fatal. It's a great place to terrorize yourself.

This terrorized me.

According to a recent Scottish study, men who have Type 1 diabetes (which I have) "lose about 11 years of life expectancy compared to men without the disease." Women lose 13 years.

What? Whaaaa? Whaaaaaaaaaaaaa?

I read on, learning that the big danger is to our hearts and that men with my condition have an average life expectancy of 66 years, compared to 77 for those without it. For women, the numbers are 68 and 81.

Here's a secret: I'm within 20 (OK, 15) years of that expected life span.

This is not good news. Let's face it, if my life were a book, I'm closer to the appendix than the table of contents. I thought there were still plenty of chapters left. But now?

They're telling me it's almost over (and I haven't even completed two of my bucket-list items: Golfing with Wayne Newton and watching every episode of "Gilligan's Island").

Here's what makes me mad: When I became a diabetic at age 14 – back when we just had three TV networks and "Google" was an outdated reference to a comic-strip character named "Barney Google" – my doctor sat me down and gave me the low-down on what the disease meant. He said that it would likely take 10 years off my life.

Big deal! I was 14! I was more concerned that I couldn't drink chocolate milk!

Fast-forward several decades. After the invention of accurate blood-testing strips, insulin pumps, the invention of NutraSweet, cholesterol-control medicine and more, they say it will reduce my life span by . . . 11 years.

It's worse now?

Diabetes already let me down once (when I campaigned to have my disease renamed "Brad Stanhope Syndrome," much like Lou Gehrig, Alois Alzheimer and Cy Nusinfection), but this is worse.

This is the 1994 baseball season, which ended in August. This is watching a two-hour TV program only to find that your DVR stopped recording after 90 minutes. This is finding out that the food you've been hiding was eaten by someone else. This isn't fair!

I tell myself that the numbers won't apply to me, since I consider myself bulletproof. I remind myself that people who have strict control of the disease do better. I acknowledge that modern technology has allowed us to track and adjust blood-sugar levels. I consider that the explosion of Type 2 diabetes (really a different disease) has led to many breakthroughs in treatment.

One doctor in the article pointed out that it wasn't until the 1980s that the medical community figured out how to best use insulin to control blood sugar levels (What? I was a diabetic before that and they acted like they knew what they were doing!). He reminded his interviewer that people in the 1920s with Type 1 diabetes had a life expectancy of less than a year. He said we don't know what will happen next.

So maybe things aren't as gloomy as the report indicated. Maybe all those people dying at 66 got hit by trucks, struck by lightning or killed by Wayne Newton on a golf course.

Or maybe they read WebMD articles that said statistics they believed all their lives were wrong. Maybe they found out that their childhood doctor was making things up.

I can always hope. And eliminate the Wayne Newton thing off my bucket list, just in case.

Brad Stanhope is a former Daily Republic editor. Reach him at bradstanhope@hotmail.com.

When my car disappeared at a BART station

A 12-year-old Chinese boy received a certain amount of notoriety recently when he was lost for six days in an IKEA store.

The kid actually spent nearly a week inside the store (and it was a real week, not the "it feels like a week" experience that many of us have in big-box stores). It started when he got into a fight with his mom over homework (so much for thinking that was strictly an American problem) and left the house. Days later, police found him, "very weak with hunger" and rushed him to a local hospital.

It seems silly, but it happens to all of us.

Because you don't have to be in a huge store to lose your way.

It can happen even in public places. Even when it seems impossible to get lost. Even when places are labeled and parking spots are marked.

Such as a Bay Area Rapid Transit station.

Seriously.

Several years ago, I was covering the postseason for the San Francisco Giants and took BART to San Francisco from the North Concord station. After a game, I returned home, arrived at my station and got off the train, thinking about my drive home.

Things were going well. The game ended early and now I could be in bed at a reasonable time. I walked to the parking lot and looked.

And looked.

I couldn't find my car.

I was pretty sure I'd parked it near the station's entrance, but it wasn't there. I obviously remembered it incorrectly, so I decided to be practical and systematic. I'd walk each line of cars until I found my Saturn. (Mrs. Brad likely doesn't believe this. Her view is that I go nuts when I get confused and act more like Professor Irwin Corey than James Bond. But trust me, I was like Agent 007 on this occasion.)

I strolled up one row and down another. Up and down. I started losing my cool because my car wasn't there. It had obviously been stolen.

Stolen!

From a BART parking lot. I was stuck – should I call the police? If so, which department – Concord or BART? Should I call Mrs. Brad? Should I start shouting and hope the car thief returned?

My car was stolen from a BART parking lot! I was lost in North Concord!

This was going to be a disaster. I didn't have a car and I was stuck, 30 miles from home, late at night.

I walked back into the station, looking for a pay phone. And as I walked, I looked up . . . and saw a sign.

I was at the Pittsburgh-Bay Point BART station, one stop beyond North Concord. I wasn't lost. My car wasn't stolen. (Well, maybe I was lost, but my car wasn't stolen.)

I slinked back into the station, realized I had to pay extra since I'd ridden BART past my stop (it was then that I remembered that I'd jumped the BART turnstile when the stupid thing told me my ticket wasn't enough upon arrival) and got back on the train heading west.

It was a combination of relief that my car wasn't stolen and embarrassment that I missed my spot and went all Irwin Corey in the parking lot.

So maybe that Chinese kid wasn't lost. Maybe he just thought he was in a Home Depot or Costco.

Hey, it happens to the best of us.

Brad Stanhope is a former Daily Republic editor. Reach him at bradstanhope@hotmail.com.

Become a better writer in 2 simple steps

The young reporter walked into the office where his boss waited, like you wait when it takes a long time to be served at a restaurant.

"Sit down," the boss grumbled, pointing to a chair with his right index finger.

The reporter swallowed hard. The kind of swallow that hurts your Adam's apple. He sat down.

"You're probably wondering why you're here," the boss declared.

"I have no idea," the reporter stammered.

The editor sat back in his cheap, leather chair and raised his feet onto his chair, putting his legs at about a 12 percent angle to his hips, which is pretty steep. Maybe 9 percent would be more accurate.

"I wouldn't bring you in if it wasn't something important," the editor groused. "This isn't about things that can get you fired, it's just a few things that you need to know. They will make you a better writer."

The reporter felt relief, like when you get a letter from the Internal Revenue Service, but it's a contest entry, not an audit. Although the IRS doesn't run contests.

"That's good news," he whispered. "Really good."

The room got quiet. As quiet as a room gets when no one is speaking and you hear that weird noise that sounds like air moving around inside your head.

"It's about a writing style. You need to make some changes," the editor pronounced. "You do a good job on most thing, but you have two huge problems."

The reporter was concerned.

Libel? Spelling? Sloppiness? A tendency to end five consecutive sentences with a question mark? Something else?

"I don't want to be guilty of making the same mistakes over and over," the reporter disclosed. "What's wrong?"

The editor looked over his glasses at the reporter, which was tough because he had his glasses on his forehead. He had to slam his chin into his chest so hard that it bruised both.

"Your first problem is word choice," he growled. "There's nothing wrong with finding a good word and using it over and over and over."

The reporter sighed. Then he nodded his head, which is always confusing because when an author writes that someone nods their head, some readers aren't sure if that means side to side or up and down. But "nod" means up and down, while "shake" means side to side, despite the fact that it's possible to shake up and down.

"So what's wrong with my word choice?" he queried.

"It's mostly when you do interviews. You have a tendency to–"

"Interrupt people?" the reporter articulated.

"No. It's not that, it's that you often–"

"Don't let people finish their thoughts?" the reporter announced.

"No. Stop interrupting. The problem is more basic than that," the editor shouted.

In the newsroom, people stopped working. Like a strike, but without the passion.

"I think the kid reporter is getting set straight," a veteran reporter harrumped to his co-workers.

"I hope not," squeaked a sensitive reporter, who squinted her eyes because she was sensitive to light, too. Even though the light was as weak as wet tissue paper.

"Here's the problems," the editor explained. "You never use the word 'said.' You go out of your way to use other words, but you never use 'said.' You should always use 'said.' "

"I understand that," quipped the reporter, in a way that reminded everyone of springtime in Paris, although they didn't know why. "What's the other problem?"

"You over-describe things that readers don't care about, sometimes using ridiculous similes."

"I understand," agreed the reporter, nodding his head up and down, like a man watching a yo-yo competition. "I'll work on it."

Everyone asserted that those were good ideas.

Brad Stanhope is a former Daily Republic editor. Reach him at bradstanhope@hotmail.com.

Picking the year's biggest story: A playoff

 I believe in competition. I also believe I can fly and that children are our future, but those are both future columns.

This is about competition. Unlike most year-in-review news stories, I don't just issue rankings. I hold a tournament: December Madness.

I've picked the top eight stories of the year, based on how they affected me – meaning you may not agree. But that's the beauty of the playoff: It ends debate.

The winner of this tournament will be the year's biggest story!

Let's get started.

QUARTERFINALS

Highway project milestones vs. Mrs. Brad surgery

The Highway 12 expansion through Jameson Canyon finished late this summer, simplifying the Napa-Fairfield commute. Also, the long-awaited Interstate-680/Interstate-80 interchange project (at least Phase I) started, resulting in a screwy lane swerve. Those were important, but Mrs. Brad had an internal organ removed Dec. 1, which affected me more. Without going into detail, let's just say I can no longer shout "you've sure got a lot of gall!" at her. Mrs. Brad's surgery advances to the semis.

Madison Bumgarner wins World Series vs. Malaysian Airlines Flight 370 disappears

The Giants won their third World Series in five years because their young pitcher won two games and saved a third, an epic performance that earned him Sports Illustrated's Sportsman of the Year honor. Meanwhile, hundreds of passengers and a huge plane disappeared, leading to months of speculation about their whereabouts and one extremely mistimed column making light of it. The Giants made me feel good, the plane taught me a painful lesson about satire. Bumgarner advances.

My career change vs. California drought

In October, I left regular journalism and moved to a new job in a new city. Meanwhile, there was no rain for most of the year, then downpours in December. Which do you think affected me more? I'm selfish. My career change advances.

My novel is published vs. Ebola outbreak

In February, my novel, "Not Quite Camelot," was finally published. It was nice to see it in print and people were extremely gracious about it (looking for a late Christmas present? It's on Amazon!). Later in the year, the Ebola virus killed thousands in Africa and threatened to become the pandemic we've feared and Hollywood has foreshadowed. I'm selfish, but not that selfish. Ebola outbreak advances.

SEMIFINALS

Mrs. Brad's surgery vs. Madison Bumgarner wins World Series

Let's look at it this way: I love Mrs. Brad, but other people have had that surgery. Nobody's done what Bumgarner did: Six relief innings just two days after a complete game. In Game 7 of the World Series. Sorry, Mrs. Brad, but Bumgarner advances to the finals.

My career change vs. Ebola outbreak

Both became big in October. Both resulted in people suddenly feeling worse. But my career change didn't keep health officials up at night trying to find a solution, it only kept my new boss up trying to find a solution. Ebola spreads (pun intended) to the championship round.

CHAMPIONSHIP

Madison Bumgarner wins World Series vs. Ebola outbreak

Ebola threatened the security of our country. It changed the way people travel. It promoted some potential breakthroughs in treatment. But Bumgarner had the most epic World Series performance of my lifetime and helped the Giants become the dominant team of this decade. Of course, it's MadBum's world. His World Series performance was the biggest deal of 2014. (Start playing "We are the champions" and release the confetti!)

Brad Stanhope is a former Daily Republic editor. Reach him at bradstanhope@hotmail.com.

Time for annual Solano County quiz

 It's almost Christmas, which means one thing: It's time for the annual "How Well Do You Know Solano County" quiz.

That's right! Time to see how well you know your home county. Time to see if you can remember details about the region.

Write down your answers to the following 20 questions, check them against the answers provided and see how well you score. Good luck! (Which is what "Benicia" means in Spanish, if you're not too specific about accuracy.)

THE QUESTIONS

1. What five counties share a border with Solano County?

2. Which two Solano County cities have been the capital of California?

3. Solano County is named after Chief Solano. What was his real name?

4. Name the four interstate freeways and six state highways that run through Solano County.

5. There are two general aviation airports in the county (not Travis Air Force Base). In what cities are they located?

6. In what year did a Republican presidential candidate win Solano County in a general election?

7. Within 10, how many rainy days (more than 0.01 inches of rain) are there in an average year in Fairfield?

8. Two products of Fairfield high schools were taken in the first round of last spring's NFL draft. Who were they and from what schools?

9. Vacaville has the highest per-capita concentration in the world of what, according to its daily newspaper?

10. What 2014 candidate for governor of California was from Solano County?

11. What is the only city in the county with more men than women (112 men for every 100 women)?

12. Rank Fairfield, Suisun City and Vacaville in terms of median household income in 2000 (the last year for which it's available).

13. Rank Fairfield, Suisun City and Vacaville in terms of population density (people per square mile).

14. Name the two members of the House of Representatives who represent Solano County.

15. According to the U.S. Census Bureau, what are the oldest and youngest cities in Solano County, based on the median age of residents?

16. In what year's census did Solano County's population surpass 100,000?

17. What was Solano County's leading crop (by money) in 2013?

18. Within 1,000, how many active-duty Air Force personnel are stationed at Travis Air Force Base?

19. How many Solano Community College campuses are there in the county?

20. Which was the last of Solano County's seven cities to legally incorporate?

ANSWERS

1. Contra Costa, Napa, Sonoma, Sacramento, Yolo.

2. Benicia, Vallejo.

3. Sem Yeto.

4. Interstates 80, 680, 780 and 505. Highways 12, 29, 37, 84, 113, 220 (6 miles on Ryer Island).

5. Vacaville (Nut Tree) and Rio Vista.

6. 1984 (Ronald Reagan).

7. 60.

8. Jason Verrrett (Rodriguez High School, San Diego Chargers) and Deone Bucannon (Vanden High School, Arizona Cardinals).

9. Electric cars.

10. Cindy Sheehan is from Vacaville.

11. Vacaville, due to the presence of California State Prison, Solano and the California Medical Facility.

12. Suisun City ($60,848), Vacaville ($57,667), Fairfield ($51,151).

13. Suisun City 6,752 people per square mile, Vacaville 3,233, Fairfield 2,798.

14. John Garamendi, Mike Thompson.

15. Rio Vista is easily the oldest city with a median age of 57. Suisun City (33.0) narrowly edges Dixon (33.3) and Fairfield (33.7) as youngest city.

16. 1950.

17. Walnuts.

18. 7,200.

19. Four: Fairfield, Vacaville, Vallejo, Travis Air Force Base.

20. Fairfield, in 1903.

SCORING

16-20: Winner. You get a blue ribbon from the Dixon May Fair.

12-15: Also-ran. You can go shopping at the factory outlet stores in Vacaville.

8-13: Poor. You can take a drive to the Interstate 80-Interstate 680 interchange.

7 and below: Solano Sad.

Brad Stanhope is a former Daily Republic editor. Reach him at bradstanhope@hotmail.com.

Make your Christmas lists, check them twice

 It's the most wonderful time of the year . . . for lists.

While Santa makes his list of who's naughty and who's nice and Tony Wade makes his list of what he wants, why don't you join me in making lists of the best parts of the holiday season?

There are plenty of top-five lists to be made this time of the year and I'm the man to do it:

Best Christmas movies

5. "Home Alone." I first watched it while I had bronchitis and laughed so hard I almost threw up.

4. "A Christmas Carol." The 1951 version, with Alastair Sim as Scrooge. There have been myriad other renditions – some good, some horrible.

3. "Miracle on 34th Street." The Natalie Wood 1947 film still stands up. Whether it's the strong female lead by Maureen O'Hara, Wood's charming turn or the believable performance as Santa by Edmund Gwynn, this is a winner.

2. "It's a Wonderful Life." Sure, it's syrupy and there are some breakdowns (if Mary never meets George, her personality is totally different?), but there isn't a better scene in film than when they gather around the tree at the end and sing "Auld Lang Syne."

1. "A Christmas Story." No film gives us more cultural Christmas touchstones than this. "You'll shoot your eye out." "Fra-geel-aye." Chinese food for Christmas dinner. Red Ryder B.B. guns.

Best sacred Christmas song

5. "O Little Town of Bethlehem." Great old-school lyrics, with solid theology.

4. "O Come All Ye Faithful." This is fun to sing and allows you to belt it out – even if you have a bad voice.

3. "O Come O Come Emmanuel." This is about 1,300 years old! And it sounds beautiful.

2. "Silent Night." Is there a better song to be done by a large group of people a capella? I think not.

1. "O Holy Night." If you want to get chills, just have a really good singer sing this straight. It doesn't need riffs and runs. It's a beautiful song that talks about Jesus' birth.

(By the way, did you notice that four of the top five have the word "O" in them? Last time a top-five list had that happen, it was "top five men named Oscar.")

Best secular Christmas song

5. "Santa Claus is Coming to Town." My favorite version is by Bruce Springsteen, singing with joy.

4. "All I Want For Christmas (Is You)." Mariah Carey's 20-year-old tune is the most popular Christmas song in the past half-century.

3. "It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year." Andy Williams was the king of Christmas songs. This was his pinnacle.

2. "Do They Know It's Christmas?" People think I'm joking when I say how much I love this 1984 tune that raised money to fight African hunger. I'm not. I love it.

1. "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas." Originally performed by Judy Garland, in "Meet Me in St. Louis," this has been covered by nearly everyone. My favorite is by the Pretenders. Soulful, sad and evocative of a sentimental farewell.

Best Christmas traditions

5. "The 25 Days of Christmas" on ABC Family. Whether it's a cheesy movie or one of the great Rankin-Bass presentations, this signals the holiday season has begun.

4. Children's pageants. Hard to find if you don't attend church, so go to church at least once this year.

3. Getting a tree. To me, the "war on Christmas" is really a "war on real Christmas trees." NPR reports that 80 percent of trees are now artificial – meaning four-fifths of us are weak. But if you still buy a real tree, the tradition of going and getting it is always memorable.

2. Visiting Santa. I love watching the combination of terror and thrill for kids when they see Santa. Especially the terror.

1. Helping others. No time of the year brings more generosity for the less fortunate than Christmas. Whether it's feeding the homeless, contributing to The Salvation Army or doing good for people in our lives, it's the best tradition.

1A. Christmas lists. See above.

Brad Stanhope is a former Daily Republic editor. Reach him at bradstanhope@hotmail.com.

My aging home is full of sacred spots

 Here's an underrated part of living in the same place for a long time: Sacred places.

Not sacred in a religious sort of way. More like in a "remember when we used to . . ." way.

Spots that look like a backyard or entryway to someone else.

Mrs. Brad and I have lived in the same house since 1992. That's the month that George Bush and Boris Yeltsin decreed the Cold War was over. Bill Clinton wasn't president yet. Our oldest son was just learning to walk. Our youngest son wasn't born.

They're now 24 and 21. (Our sons. Not Clinton.)

In addition to the obvious benefits of staying in one place – paying down the mortgage, knowing your neighbors, not going underwater during the Great Recession – there are a growing number of places that harbor great memories around Casa de Stanhopes. Maybe it's because the boys are older and the memories come easier. Maybe it's my getting older and more sentimental.

Whatever it is, I find myself looking at our mature California pepper tree and remembering when it was a stick and served as the backstop for kickball games I played with the boys during my dinner breaks.

I look at the corner of our house and remember when our dog, the beloved Vida, used to sit on second base during those games. Second base is now the corner of our house after we added a second bathroom.

I look at our driveway and remember our oldest son staggering down it as he learned to keep his balance while our neighbors (who were the age Mrs. Brad and I are now) stood and laughed.

I see the bathroom, which we turned over to the boys after adding the one off our bedroom, and wonder how four people shared that one toilet and shower for 15 years. I also wonder about when Mrs. Brad remodeled the bathroom: We thought a day without a toilet could go smoothly.

I look at the aforementioned entryway – which is about 6 feet deep – and remember games of dodgeball and a made-up game called "entryway ball" that I played with the boys as they learned to duck, dodge and discovered that Dad could create a complicated scoring system that assured that he would always win.

I see the full backyard and remember when Vida tore our new store-bought swimming pool to pieces and then raced around the yard when we came home to find it littered with plastic.

I see the basketball hoop – now bent and beaten by years of abuse – and recall when Mrs. Brad and I huddled in the early April wind to assemble it after our youngest son's birthday as both boys eagerly watched through the sliding glass door.

There are plenty of bad memories – when we all got stomach flu at the same time, when the ceiling fan slapped me upside the head at full speed, when we dealt with unpleasant, scary issues. But that's the thing, at least for me.

After more than 20 years living in the same house – in a neighborhood, by the way, where there are a few people who have been around longer – the good memories outweigh the bad.

We expanded our house, put on two new roofs, added flooring and changed out our dishwasher about five times. We bickered, laughed and complained that it was too small. But it's our only house, the place where our sons grew up and the only home in which our youngest son has lived.

For a 1,200-square-foot tract home, it's sure full of memories.

Brad Stanhope is a former Daily Republic editor. Reach him at bradstanhope@hotmail.com.

Want to look younger? Shave!

 In an era when many young men grow beards that make them look like Civil War soldiers and others work hard to maintain a look that suggests they lost their razor three days ago, I take comfort in this fact: Facial hair makes you look older.

Clean-shaven men, rejoice!

The end of Movember – the made-up monthlong event where men supposedly grow facial hair to show support for men's health issues (no need to see a doctor, contribute money or change your lifestyle. Grow a beard! That will draw attention to men's health issues!) – is an appropriate time to point out the science: Facial hair makes you look older.

Here's the science, or rather "science": A recent study in Britain – performed by Crown Center, the nation's leading hair-transplant center – revealed that the 300 people were shown pictures of various celebrities who occasionally have facial hair and were asked how old they were. According to the survey, people said a beard made the celebs look up to 10 years old.

This is a good reminder.

If you're 20 or 25, it doesn't matter much if you look three, five or 10 years older. Most guys in their mid-20s don't want to be 30 or 35, but they don't mind if someone thinks that they're that age. It gives them gravitas.

However . . .

If you're 40 or 50 and grow a beard or goatee, you run the risk of looking 60. (Not that there's anything wrong with being 60. I write for a newspaper! I'm talking about our readers!) If you're 60 and think it's time to bust out a mustache that flashes back to the Tom Selleck-style 'stache you had in 1983, it may make you look 65.

And if you're 55 and decide to grow a stubble, realize . . . well, it will make you look like a homeless guy on an old movie.

I have no problem with facial hair. I wore a goatee for several years, starting in my late 30s. I think guys should do whatever they want with their facial hair. And you can make the case that a guy who has maintained a mustache or beard for decades shouldn't shave it off at age 50, just to look young.

But keep the "facts" in mind: A group of British people said that George Clooney and David Beckham looked older with facial hair. (Although, no surprise, people thought Brad Pitt looked younger than he is both with and without facial hair.) Facial hair has a good run, but research indicates a down side.

If you don't believe me, think about this: All those guys who started growing facial hair on Nov. 1 are now a month older – and might look several years older.

Think also about this: December starts Monday. It's the month where we will see the most celebrated icon of any holiday over and over and over.

And over.

We see Santa Claus, the bearded icon of Christmas.

Did you know he's just 35? It's the beard.

Brad Stanhope is a former Daily Republic editor. Reach him at bradstanhope@hotmail.com.

Time to start a local hall of fame

 I don't mean to brag, but I'm in a hall of fame.

At least I think I am.

The honor came several years ago at an annual banquet for the Fairfield Expos baseball program. I was the emcee and we announced the newest members of the organization's hall of fame – primarily former players. Either someone didn't show or there was a mistake, but there was an extra cap with "Fairfield Expos Hall of Fame" stitching.

Brad Hanson, the king of the Expos, gave it to me and acted like I was in the hall of fame.

No one took back the hat.

I still have it and I occasionally mention that I'm in a baseball hall of fame.

Such as I did in this column.

That being said, today I debut the Fairfield-Suisun Hall of Fame.

It's simple: A collection of  people, places and events that hold a special place in the area. I reserve the right to revisit it occasionally, adding new members. Once you're in, you remain, unless I decide to make a change.

The initial class? It's several people and a restaurant.

The actual hall of fame will be in my imagination (kept under my Fairfield Expos hall of fame hat. Did I mention I'm in a hall of fame?)

Here are the initial inductees:

Captain Robert Waterman and Captain Josiah Wing. They get the credit for founding Fairfield and Suisun City, although there were already people living here. Waterman, also known as "Bully Bob," founded Fairfield in 1856 and named it after his former hometown in Connecticut. Wing founded Suisun City a few years earlier, then brought his family from Massachusetts and named Jim Spering mayor (I may have the timeline wrong). What good is a hall of fame if the city founders aren't in it?

B. Gale Wilson. Newcomers may know him only as the namesake of the school and boulevard, but he's more than that.

Wilson was the city manager of Fairfield from 1956 until 1988 – the man in the top seat when Fairfield added the Budweiser brewery and the Solano mall. Fairfield grew from a few thousand people to nearly 100,000 under his watch and went from being a sleepy rural town to a significant Bay Area and Sacramento Valley city. Like him or not (and there were plenty of people in each camp), he was a difference-maker.

Joe's Buffet. The first entry that's not a human, it's the iconic downtown Fairfield sandwich shop that's been here since 1949, existing under the leadership of three owners – only one of them named Joe. Decade after decade, downtown workers (including those from City Hall and the county Government Center) pack this place daily. It's a Fairfield landmark.

Alicia Hollowell. The most-decorated athlete in city history, the Fairfield High softball pitcher was the national player of the year in 2002 and set a gazillion state and national records. She's still among the top five nationally in most pitching categories. And then? She played at Arizona State University, where she was a four-time All-American, NCAA champion and Olympic alternate. She's simply the greatest athlete in Fairfield-Suisun City history.

Brothers Wade. Let's see, there's Tony and Kelvin, who write columns for this paper. Then there's Scott, O.T., Groucho, Harpo, Peyton, Eli, Marlon and Tito (the last six are guesses). The Wades moved here in the 1970s and nobody loves Fairfield more than Tony. Nobody also writes two columns a week like Tony nor is as consistently engaging as an opinion columnist as Kelvin. The big flaw? They're Raiders fans. And Tony is my arch rival. He's in this hall of fame, but not the Fairfield Expos' version.

Reach Hall of Famer Brad Stanhope, a former Daily Republic editor, at bradstanhope@hotmail.com.