Someday, you'll regret using emojis. You'll regret texting that winking smiley face. You'll regret Tweeting the unicorn. You'll regret trusting an organization called the Unicode Consortium.
The Unicode Consortium? Yes that's the organization that approves new emojis. Is there anything more 2019 than that?
The Unicode Consortium (which sounds like either a scary multinational organization bent on world domination or a 1975 disco band) recently announced the approval of 59 new emoji (that's the plural) for 2019. Among the new emojis are an otter, ballet shoes, a yawning face and some long-overdue emojis for disabled people (including people in wheelchairs, guide dogs and an ear with a hearing aid).
While some of those may be overdue, I consider the new emojis hurtful. Because I consider all emojis hurtful.
It's just a way to pretend to say something while really using other people's words or images. And as I have written before – and will undoubtedly write again – there is a system for communicating with symbols and images. It's called written words.
The first emoji set was released in 1997 (I presume it had some "Seinfeld" and NSync emojis). Every year, there are new ones, allowing people to further confuse me.
The update increased the emoji count to 3,053, meaning there are more emojis than the career record for NFL points, NBA 3-pointers or baseball RBIs. There are more emoji than parking spots at the Solano Town Center mall, for crying out loud!
It's an emoji overload and the danger in the ever-increasing emoji universe is that it will just lead to more people using symbols to represent what they think, rather than using, you know . . . words.
A confession: If you gave me truth serum, I would admit that a good part of my dislike of emoji is that people will text me a message with an emoji and I can't tell what it is. "I see hands," I mumble, "But what are they doing? Is that a finger pointing at me? Are the hands praying? IS THAT PERSON FLIPPING ME OFF?"
People start walking away from me.
I fear that some day, we'll live in a world where people no longer know how to write or speak. The emoji people will have conquered the world and will limit communication for the remaining humans to emoji.
Which will be limited by the all-powerful Unicode Consortium.
If I'm alive then (odds are strongly against that), I'll be easy to find. I'll be the last man on Earth speaking – and I'll be shouting, "IS THAT PERSON FLIPPING ME OFF?"
Then I'll look around, realize I need to be quiet and start seeking an emoji of a man shaking his fist at a passing cloud.
Fight the power!
Reach Brad Stanhope at bradstanhope@hotmail.com.
No comments:
Post a Comment