I wish I had an emoji to show how I hate emojis

I hate emojis.

You know emojis: The little figures that find their way into emails, text messages, instant messages and social media posts. They're the smiley face or the devil horns or the stack of money or the dancing guy (which technically is an emoji GIF, but that's for another time).

I don't dislike them because of what they do. I dislike them because of what they replace: Real communication. Words, either spoken or written.

Emojis cheapen the value of words because they use an image. Worse yet, it's not even a personal image, it's something that a programming nerd designed in an underground bunker in Palo Alto while eating hot Cheetos (which may not be true, but it fits my narrative and creates a villain).

Emojis are the next logical step backward in the communication trends of the past decade.

We started with acronyms (LOL, ROTFL, OMG) that were commonplace and saved us the effort to come up with our own words to describe a reaction. Then came memes, photos (often from a movie or TV show) with a catch phrase included. Soon no one seemed able to react to anything with their own thoughts, but were reduced to using other people's words and images to say what they're thinking.

At the same time, we started using emoticons – such as :) for a smiley face. Fewer words were needed. We could just hit a couple of buttons and pretend we were clever.

Then, the emoji.

Allow me to remind you: These are fine. They are tools. They help people say things.

I'm just afraid that they're replacing language.

They are so prevalent that I wonder whether most emoji-users are capable of using actual words to express themselves. They're too pleased with their ability to share that stupid smiley face with rectangular eyes (which everyone else has seen 1,000 times).

Here's my old-man rant: Use words. Express yourself verbally. Say or write such things as "that's great," or "that's not funny," or "if you don't quit bugging me, I'm contacting HR."

Because emojis are like a Rorschach test. When you post a dollar sign, I may think you're saying "great idea, that's money!" when you may mean "that's greedy!" But because you didn't use words – you know, the way mankind has communicated since the beginning of time – I'm unclear.

Otherwise, I fear we're reversing thousands (or more) years of human advancement. We're communicating faster, but with less accuracy.

At the current pace, adults in a generation or two will be reduced to what cavemen did in the prehistoric era: Using pictures on walls to express thoughts while the ability to use language – to write, speak, sing, communicate – will be reduced to pictographs on walls.

And that would make me :(.

LOL.

Reach Brad Stanhope at bradstanhope@hotmail.com.