It's Father's Day, the 31st-most-important holiday on the calendar (just behind Siblings Day and just ahead of International Sushi Day – which is Tuesday). That means as always, a special treat for readers: Advice from a father.
In the spirit of Annie's Mailbox, Ann Landers, Miss Manners and Tim Jones (one of those things is not like the other!), what follows are pretend letters from imaginary readers with imitation problems that can only be answered by a father.
It's time for Dear Dad.
Dear Dad: I live in Vacaville with my daughter and son-in-law. While I am grateful for their hospitality, my son-in-law clearly resents my presence in the home. Sometimes while we're eating dinner, he will speak to everyone but me. He planned a vacation for the rest of the family, ignoring me. My question isn't about whether his behavior is right or wrong, but whether I should say anything. Should I speak up, or keep my thoughts to myself? – Uncomfortable in Vacaville
Dear Uncomfortable: The one thing you didn't include is where your son-in-law wants to vacation. I've found that the best vacations last between one and two weeks. It reminds me of the time when I was about 10 or 11 and my parents took us to Yellowstone Park for two weeks, but it seemed like it lasted forever, mostly because of how much we drove. This was before everyone had gaming systems or even iPods, so my sister and I sat in the backseat of the car. At one point we started fighting and the old man leaned back and took a swipe at us to make us stop. He missed and my sister and I started laughing, which just made him more mad. Those were the days. If that happened today, the kid would be staring at a screen while wearing ear buds.
Dear Dad: We have lived in the same home in Suisun City for 31 years and love our neighborhood, but recently our neighbors moved. The people who moved in have about six cars and they park them in front of our house sometimes – they even blocked the driveway recently. Do I have a right to the parking spots in front of my house? Can I call the cops? What should I do? – Frustrated Suisunite
Dear Frustrated: You know what frustrates me? Seeing kids try to parallel park a car. When I learned how to drive, that was part of the driving test – you had to be able to parallel park on a street. I remember one friend, Ronnie Franklin, who dented up his mom's car during the test. We called him "Crash" Franklin for the rest of high school. Hilarious.
Dear Dad: "Jane" and I have been dating for several months and I think I'm in love. The problem is that "Jane" constantly talks about her former boyfriend, who she says was the greatest guy ever. How can I get past this? – Lovestruck in Fairfield
Dear Lovestruck: Comparisons are tough. If you don't think so, ask LeBron James. No matter what he does, people compare him to Michael Jordan or even Kobe Bryant. But if you ask me, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar was the greatest basketball player ever. He won six championships, six MVP awards and had that sky hook that was the most unstoppable shot in the history of basketball. I had a pretty good hook shot back when I played, but nobody does it anymore. Not sure why.
Reach Brad Stanhope at bradstanhope@hotmail.com.
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