When questionable surveys give you lemons, make lemonade

This is bananas! (You know, that yellow fruit with the non-edible peel.)

A survey by Hitchcock Farms, a California produce grower and shipper that produced legendary films "Psycho," "Vertigo" and "North By Northwest," revealed that only 22.8 percent of Californians could identify "everyday fruits and vegetables."

How do you like them apples? (The fruit that grows on trees and is a primary ingredient in apple pie.)

Per usual, the mainstream media made this out to be a "Californians are stupid" issue, like when we all got  sunburned that day that we forgot to wear sunscreen. Or when we spent 30 minutes looking for our glasses while they were on our face.

The mainstream media is so unfair!

But the issue isn't that Californians are stupid. It's that Kentuckians are stupid, because only 20.9 percent of them were able to identify everyday fruits and vegetables. We got 22.8 percent! Hah!

California and Kentucky being so far apart geographically, culturally and politically means that we're really comparing apples (see above) and oranges (the citrus fruit with a peel that again, you don't eat). Who knows why both states did badly?

Here's one potential reason: The report said the survey was done by showing people images of everyday fruits and vegetables, "such as an artichoke," and asking what it was.

Well, there's a problem.

An artichoke is an "everyday vegetable?" Anyone who likes artichokes knows that there is about a three-week period in the spring when artichokes are good. The rest of the time they are expensive and bad–like a Kardashian sister (more ammunition for the "Californians are stupid" crowd).

It seemed to me that citing artichokes as an example of "everyday vegetables" shows that the survey people cherry-picked the data. (Cherries are a red fruit that grows on trees and has a pit.)

Kentucky and California may be two peas in a pod (it's a green vegetable, grows on the ground), but the state with the highest recognition of "everyday fruits and vegetables" was none other than Utah.

Which makes sense, I guess, if you put salt on every vegetable (because of course, there is the Great Salt Lake and Salt Lake City in Utah. Get it?).

What's the takeaway? I suspect that somebody had the plum job (plums are the purplish fruit that grows on trees and are related to peaches and cherries) of creating the images and correct answers for this survey. It was clearly biased, which is what we always say when a survey reflects badly on us. In fact, claiming bias is the No. 1 industry in Mississippi, which routinely ranks 50th state rankings.

Anyway, the numbers were ridiculous. Heck, I took on online version of the test and I got seven of 10 right – which is well above 22.8 percent but also proves they aren't "everyday fruits and vegetables," because I would know them, right?

It seems that the idea of what constitutes "everyday fruits and vegetables" is open to interpretation. What one person thinks is obvious is not an "everyday fruit or vegetable" to someone else.

In other words, You say tomato (the  fruit that seems like a vegetable and grows best in warm weather), I say to-mah-toh. You say potato (the tuberous vegetable that's a staple food in much of the world) , I say po-tah-toh.

Reach Brad Stanhope at bradstanhope@hotmail.com.