He's bigger than me, but also older. And I suspect I could keep moving and make it tough for him to hit me. Of course, he could probably tell a Secret Service member to attack me and I would crumble, but a one-on-one battle with the president?
I think I would win. As someone who has never been in a legit fight, that's saying something.
This view doesn't come out of thin air. It's not a threat against a sitting president. It's an actual topic of an opinion poll: Not whether I could win a fight with Trump, but whether the survey-takers could. And whether an average American could. And an 8-year-old boy.
Yes. Really.
American politics is complicated. Even seemingly simple issues turn out to be more complex than we assume. Should we have universal health care? Should we spend more on the military? Should there be preschool for all children? Does it really matter if there is prayer in school? Do higher taxes raise more money or discourage investment in business?
I have opinions on all of those, but I'm not informed enough to make a solid decision. I wouldn't want to be required to decide and then defend my decision.
But could I win a fight against the president? Once in a while, there's a political issue where I feel like I have as good an opinion as anyone. Could an 8-year-old boy beat up Donald Trump? I also have as good an opinion as anyone.
The folks at YouGov asked 2,609 Americans exactly that question, along with whether they thought they could beat up Trump and whether they thought an average American could do the same.
This was inspired by Trump's early May question at the White House of an 8-year-old boy at an event about physical fitness. Trump literally asked the boy, "Do you think you could take me in a fight?"
Ladies and gentlemen, the PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES! He asked a third-grader who would win in a fight between them.
Anyway, YouGov then surveyed a cross-section of Americans.
The answer: Most Americans aren't exactly intimidated by the president. Most Americans are confident that should it come down to it (I don't know in what scenario this would happen. Maybe both you and Trump are really hungry at a buffet and there's just one piece of pizza left. Both of you think you should get it, shoving ensues and the next thing you know, you're fighting the president?). In fact, 55% of Americans say they'd win the fight, 19% say Trump would.
Yes. Most Americans are confident they can beat up an overweight 78-year-old billionaire.
An even higher percentage (66%) think an "average American" would win the fight (which suggests most of us figure we're worse fighters than the average American, right? We have a 55% chance, but the "average American" has a 66% chance).
And could an 8-year-old boy beat Trump in a fight? Shockingly, 31% of Americans do, perhaps thinking of the toughest kid in their third-grade class.
In a further breakdown that is no surprise, Democrats were much more confident that anyone could win a fight with Trump, while Republicans backed the president (although more Republicans thought they'd win than thought Trump would beat them up).
This whole discussion has resulted in me thinking of how I would fight Trump (I'd move around a lot. Using jabs to keep him off me. Circling. I would avoid going to the ground with him, because he's so much bigger than me and he could use a MAGA hat to hit me further). I've also thought about what other famous people I could win a fight against.
My short list of five people I think I would beat in a fight, other than the POTUS:
- Joe Biden. It would be sad, but I'd win.
- Woody Allen. His anxiety would probably make him hyperventilate at the start.
- Stevie Wonder. I better win that one.
- Dick Van Dyke. He's 100.
- Barney the dinosaur. He has short arms.
That might be it. Along with Donald Trump. Only if required, of course.
Reach Brad Stanhope at bradstanhope@outlook.com.
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