Work smarter, not harder to understand business buzzwords

If you've ever sat in a business strategy session, you know what it's like to be on the bleeding edge.

But if you didn't understand that sentence, you've got a lot in common with most Americans.

A recent survey by VoiceNation revealed which business buzzwords are most misunderstood by  Americans. The conclusion was that business leaders – or people who think they're insiders – often use terms to dazzle us. The wind up confusing us.

That happens when they use phrases from "bleeding edge," (misunderstood by 40% of those surveyed) to "not enough bandwidth" (misunderstood by 10% of those surveyed). 

Business jargon is silly. And prevalent. It's not new: Business buzzwords are a longtime menace.

In the late 1980s, a certain Daily Republic executive loved business jargon. He was a faithful reader of Tom Peters, a business management author, and apparently latched onto whatever was new. The two things I heard him say the most (and I wasn't around him much, so either he said these constantly or he said them in situations where the sports editor was present) were to "work smarter, not harder," (which doesn't make sense and doesn't rhyme in print) and to describe something as a "paradigm shift."

I'd roll my eyes whenever I heard those phrases. Now I know I'm not alone.

It's not just buzzwords. Several years ago, when I started my current job, someone talked about C-level executives. I thought they meant sea-level executives, which made little sense to me (executives who work in San Francisco and Miami?). Instead, they meant – of course –  executives with "Chief" in their title. Chief executive officer, chief operating officer, chief information officer. Chief Boyardee?

All areas of life trend toward clichés. I've spent much of my adult life aware of the danger of churchy words that make Christianity seem like an insider's game (phrases like "missional" and "hedge" and "emergent.") The same is true with sports (" two-way player" and "check-down pass" and "Mendoza line") and virtually everywhere else.

But business people may be the worst and the survey showed some of the phrases that are most misunderstood . . . including by me.

The most misunderstood buzzword phrase in the VoiceNation surve was "boil the ocean," (61% didn't understand) which apparently means to make or try something ridiculously difficult (like understanding the phrase "boil the ocean."). Second is COP, which means close of play (the end of something) and was misunderstood by 56% of those surveyed. I've never heard either of the phrases, but it's probably a matter of time.

Buzzword phrases sneak into the language. Over the past decade or so, more and more business people who want to be seen as innovative repeat variations of "disruption" as if it's the answer to everything. "Let's disrupt our industry!" they'll say, as if that's the only way to succeed. "We need to be disruptors!"

Well if we're going by the actual definition of "disrupt," Enron disrupted the energy industry as much as Tesla disrupted the auto industry. Lehman Brothers disrupted the banking industry as much as Apple disrupted the computer industry.

Then again, I'm not on the bleeding edge because I've never used the term "idea shower," other than to describe the time when I was showering and thought it would be a good idea to require an NFL coach who loses a "challenge" to play two or three downs without gear.

According to VoiceNation, people aged 55-64 (my demographic) struggled the most with buzzwords, which seems right. After all, we've lived through periods of synergy, paradigm shifts, interfacing, low-hanging fruit and bottom line.

All of those are buzzwords. None are good choices. And COP, to speak like that is to boil the ocean.

And never forget that the people who want you to work smarter, not harder really want you to do both, which is a real paradigm shift.

Reach Brad Stanhope at bradstanhope@outlook.com.