Funny Columnist finds a trick to improve SEO performance

I recently discussed with a co-worker an archaic way to get an advantage for your business.

She told me her father was tasked decades ago with naming a new company division. He looked at the phone book, noticed the trend and went with a name that started with two or three As, making it one of the first things people would see when they opened the directory.

"There's nothing like that now," I told her. "There's probably some consultants who will tell you how to get better SEO (search engine optimization), but it's not the same."

Hours later, I realized I was wrong.

I read an article on The Verge that discussed a new restaurant in New York named "Thai Food Near Me," and went into detail on the number of businesses taking a similar path: Dentist Near Me. Plumber Near Me. Barber Shop Near Me. Christmas Trees Near Me.

The idea is simple, but in case you don't recognize it, here's the reason: When you use Google (or presumably another search engine, but who uses anything but Google?) to find a good Thai restaurant or dentist or plumber or barbershop or Christmas tree lot, the search engine will give you the option of doing the search to find those close to you.

So type in "Thai food" and one auto-fill option will be "Thai food near me."

I use it all the time. So if you name your restaurant Thai Food Near Me, it will generally come up early in that search, even if it's not, you know, near you.

This is brilliant. And devious. And fascinating.

Not surprisingly, Google says that the naming convention doesn't really work. Google says the actual proximity of the restaurant or store or barber shop or plumber is crucial, as is how prominent the business is (Starbucks shows up better in searches than a local coffee house) and how much detail the business provides (because Google has an insatiable appetite for information).

Still . . . it kind of works. I say that primarily because I don't trust what Google says about its business practices.

Going with that name puts it in the possibilities for the search. Also, it creates more attention (at least at the start), leading to media coverage and social media posts, which lead to more prominence, which leads to higher visibility on the search engine.

I recently did a search for "Thai Food Near Me" and the New York restaurant didn't appear, but apparently it shows up at or near the top for New Yorkers, which is the target audience. I assume Barber Shop Near Me and Christmas Trees Near Me work equally well.

Here's the point: People will always look for a shortcut. Whether it's calling your business AAA Plumbing or Plumber Near Me, every little bit helps. And it's encouraging to know that in an era of artificial intelligence and business consultants, we still have regular people who are using their wits in an attempt to outsmart the system and gain an advantage.

If I didn't think that was true, I wouldn't have changed my name to Funny Columnist.

Reach Funny Columnist at bradstanhope@outlook.com.