Whether it's gridders or cagers, ink me up for old-time headlines

When I landed my first sports writer job at age 21, I was thrilled.

Not to get my name in the paper. Not to go to games for free. Not to tell people's stories.

I was thrilled about the chance to write headlines. More specifically, to write headline words.

"Nix" for cancel. "Tilt" for game. "Ink" for sign. "Bucs" for the Pittsburgh Pirates.

Newspapers were a sandbox. This was going to be great! The kid who loved newspapers now got to mimic what he'd read growing up.

I loved headline words from a young age, reading news headlines about the "prexy" (president) and "the GOP" (Republican Party). I cherished headlines like "Tribe Thump Chisox" (Cleveland Indians beat Chicago White Sox). 

Imagine my excitement when I got to write headlines for the Eureka Times-Standard sports section.  It was an afternoon paper on weekdays, so I'd roll in before 6 a.m. a few days a week and lay out the sports section before heading to my college classes. What better way to start off a day than writing a headline that said "Bosox, Friars swap hurlers" (Boston Red Sox, San Diego Padres trade pitchers)?

And it wasn't just headlines.

I also could use sports phrases that had been a part of my newspaper experienc. I could call the track team "thinclads." I could write "harriers" while discussing the cross-country team. The football team was "gridders," the basketball team was "cagers" and the wrestling team was the "grapplers."

Of course, there was even more. A student of how metropolitan newspapers reported, the 1984 version of Brad sought ways to breathlessly write breaking news. I particularly enjoyed using the BIG STORY writing style: "Joe Blow will not return in 1985 as the Arcata High junior varsity wrestling coach, the Times-Standard learned late Tuesday." It was breathless! It was a scoop!

Of course, "the Times-Standard learned" about it when Coach Blow called in the results of his team's match and casually mentioned that he was not going to coach the following year.

But the "Times-Standard learned!" "late Tuesday!" It was fun!

Even as I became a veteran (I was a sports writer for two years in Eureka and 18 years in Fairfield before moving to the news side), I loved headline cliches and breathless reporting. As sports editor, I discouraged my staff from using them, but I enjoyed seeing them in a small-town newspaper (or even occasionally a bigger newspaper) while traveling.

We live in a world that's politically splintered. The polar ice caps are melting. We're vulnerable to pandemics. We don't know how to control artificial intelligence. The Dodgers are in contention every year. Gas prices aren't coming down. It's bad news after bad news after bad news.

If newspapers used the old-timey headline words, perhaps the world would seem like a better place.

Wouldn't you like to see headlines about a "gridiron clash" or the "prexy nixing" some legislation or a big free agent "inking a pact" with the Giants?

Well, the Daily Republic learned late Saturday that I would, too.

Reach Brad Stanhope at bradstanhope@outlook.com.