Time to increase the sizzle for the Super Bowl halftime show

Today is America's biggest holiday.

Yep, Abraham Lincoln's birthday. Happy 214th, Abe!

Oh, it's also the Super Bowl, which crowns the champion in the sport played once by Lincoln Kennedy, a former offensive lineman who played at the University of Washington before entering the NFL. Yes Lincoln (!) Kennedy (!) played at Washington (!). One guy, three presidential names.

Enough with blocking and tackling. Today I'm back to pitch my biggest Super Bowl idea. Nothing to do with the game or the commercials. I'm back to strongly suggest that the NFL get away from the halftime concert (today: Rhianna, with some surprise guests I won't recognize), which inevitably is a 12-minute medley of songs mixed with attempts at a big-stage spectacle.

The halftime concert guarantees one thing: Everyone will be dissatisfied.

Viewers either:

• Don't like or know the artist, or
• Love the artist and and don't get enough.

Let's change it. My idea? A real spectacle: Have a halftime event that will make us watch. Evoke drama. In the words of every competition reality show on TV: Go big or go home.

For instance . . . how about a motorcycle jump?

Fifty years ago, America was riveted by such events. A guy on a motorcycle jumping over 12 buses or 24 cars or the fountain at Caesar's Palace in Las Vegas or the Snake River Canyon.

Are you telling me that a halftime show of someone jumping a motorcycle over a jet or over 1 million cans of Pepsi (hey! A sponsorship idea!) wouldn't keep you watching at halftime?

I'd watch it.

Another idea: What if someone walked a tightrope across the top of the stadium? Imagine the danger of them falling. A gust of wind? What if the teams came out on the field and the punters tried to hit the tightrope guy? What if fans could fire Nerf weapons at them (hey! A sponsorship idea!) Would you watch it?

I'd be standing next to my TV like I do late in close Warriors playoff games.

There are other options. You could have a contest where people were shot out of cannons toward the uprights and the survivors would win $1 million in credit at Amazon (hey! Another sponsor idea!).

You could bring a bunch of fans on the field to compete in a tug-of-war or a huge dodgeball game.

Or involve celebrities: Would you watch a dodgeball game that included Paris Hilton, Dennis Rodman, Charlie Sheen, Marjorie Taylor Greene and William Shatner? Of course you would.

The NFL is adept at adapting. The way the game is played now – and the rules that govern it – are the result of evolution. Today's game would be unfamiliar to someone from 1970 or even 1990. Yet we're doing the same thing at halftime of the Super Bowl as we did in 1973 (Woody Herman and Andy Williams), 1983 (Los Angeles Super Drill Team), 1993 (Michael Jackson), 2003 (Shania Twain and No Doubt) and 2013 (Beyonce).

Those were fine (although I have no idea about 1983. What the heck?), but it's time for a change.

Hey NFL . . . let's watch a guy be lit on fire and catapulted 100 yards into a small pool next year. Let's have a halftime show of "Wipeout" with a $10 million prize. Let's have David Blaine make the goalposts disappear, then reappear on the sidelines.

No offense to Rhianna, but let's make the Super Bowl halftime show interesting.

Reach Brad Stanhope at bradstanhope@outlook.com.