I'm sure the reversal of the Earth's rotation is no reason to panic

If this were a popular science-fiction movie, the first indication would be something subtle. Maybe the water going in the opposite direction when someone flushes.  Maybe someone noting that the sun set 30 seconds later than expected. Maybe a cartographer noting that the distance between two cities (say Indianapolis and Los Angeles) is actually slightly farther than it was a couple of years earlier.

Something would be off. That's how it would be in the movies, at least.

But it's 2023 and the first indication came from a scientific journal. Things aren't changing on the surface of Earth – at least in ways that we can tell right now – but they are on the interior. The Earth's inner core is slowing its rotation speed and may soon reverse direction.

No big deal. Just the middle of the planet slowing to a stop and then throwing the gear into reverse.

JUST THE MIDDLE OF THE PLANET REVERSING DIRECTION!

Scientists are casual about it, as they always are in these situations (see every apocalyptic movie, where all scientists are chill except the famous actor who is seen by his or her colleagues as panicking).

"We show surprising observations that indicate the inner core has nearly ceased its rotation in the recent decade and may be experiencing a turning-back in a multidecadal oscillation, with another turning point in the early 1970s," geophysicists Yi Yang and Xiaodong Song of Peking University in Beijing wrote in a paper published in the journal Nature Geoscience.

Oh. Just that. It's surprising, but the CENTER OF THE EARTH IS REVERSING DIRECTION. The scientists, Yang and Song (a tremendous name for a mid-1980s musical duo), try to appease us by pointing out that this is similar to a similar situation in the early 1970s. Like that's supposed to comfort us.

Maybe it would, if you had no knowledge of history. However, I've been around long enough to remember the early 1970s. And the last time this happened – the last time THE CENTER OF THE EARTH REVERSED ROTATION DIRECTION – the following happened:

• Watergate.
• Massive bell bottoms.
• "The Candy Man" by Sammy Davis Jr. was a top-10 song.
• The Partridge Family was both a popular TV show and popular musical act.
• The gas crisis.

It's possible all those things happened independently. It's also possible that the decline of Wham! had nothing to do with George Michael leaving the group. It's also possible that the big rainstorm of 2016 had nothing to do with me paying for a carwash right before it. It's also possible that eating that pizza left out overnight had nothing to do with you getting food poisoning in 1996.

Possible. But likely related.

I read a good chunk of the paper by Yang and Song (again, a great name for a musical duo) and saw a lot of references to things like "temporal variation" (album title nomination!) and "seven-decade oscillation" (good band name) and "electromagnetic torque" (wow! This report is a goldmine for band names!).

But I wasn't distracted from the main point. The geophysicists can explain it and the media can downplay it and Yang and Song can even record an album about it  ("Temporal Variation,"  a concept album that would include a remake of "IGY (What a Beautiful World)," the 1982 hit by Steely Dan's Donald Fagan about the International Geophysical Year). However, don't miss the big point.

THE CENTER OF THE EARTH IS REVERSING ITS ROTATIONAL DIRECTION.

Now go back to your regular life. I'm sure there's nothing to see here.

To be sure, I'm stocking up on bell bottoms.

Reach Brad Stanhope at bradstanhope@outlook.com.