It can be a seemingly endless day.
It is undoubtedly the longest day of the year, despite the fact that the "experts" say June 21 is technically the longest day, if you equate "day" and "daylight" (and Dec. 21 is the shortest day).
Those "experts" apparently never had kids.
Because I remember. In fact, I still have a datebook from when the Stanhope family included me, Mrs. Brad and two elementary-school-aged boys. That document proves that Christmas is the longest day of the year. An excerpt:
6 a.m.: Wow! Christmas morning is great. Both boys got up early and were excited. Mrs. Brad and I drank coffee and enjoyed watching the kids open gifts. Scooters are the big item this year. It will be great!
7:30 a.m.: Coffee is wearing off and the boys are already fighting. Breakfast is done and the house is a mess. Now I need to figure out how to use an electronic gadget Mrs. Brad got me.
9 a.m.: Mrs. Brad and I completed our traditional Christmas walk with Brandy, our dog, leaving the boys at home. It was peaceful. But how is it only 9?
10:45 a.m.: Exhausted. I thought we might start preparing dinner, then realized it's more than an hour until lunch. I thought I had the electronic gadget figured out, but no. I guess it needs batteries. Should we take the tree down? Maybe a nap, instead.
Noon: Fell asleep on the couch, then ate because we've been up for 15 or 20 hours (I checked my watch. We've only been up six hours. How?). We turned on an NBA game, but it's dull. How long until dinner?
1:15 p.m.: The kids are outside and I'm hungry. Dinner is still four hours off? Why is there nothing on TV? And I think I lost a key part for that electronic gadget.
2:45 p.m.: This morning seems like it was days ago. I tried to take a nap, then realized I'd taken one this morning. Will night ever get here?
4:30 p.m.: We ate dinner, since we've been up for hours and hours (ignore the fact that Mrs. Brad and I regularly get up at 6 a.m.). Fortunately, it's getting dark, so finally it will be bedtime soon.
6 p.m.: I'm hungry again, because of the early dinner. So I'll have some leftovers before I go to bed ... what? It's only 6 p.m.?
8 p.m.: Exhausted. It feels like months since we got up, even though it's only been 14 hours. Fourteen hours of sitting around, watching the clock and waiting for the next meal. And trying to get my electronic gadget to work. I still think it may need batteries.
9 p.m.: We usually go to bed after 10 p.m., but we're exhausted. And bored. How many meals can you eat in one day? How many card games can you play? We're headed off for rest.
11 p.m.: Can't sleep. The morning nap and all the meals must have affected me. Well, at least the kids had fun on Christmas. Wait. That was today? How is that possible?
11:45 p.m.: I just fell asleep when I heard a chirping noise. After stumbling around, I realized it's the electronic device. I have no idea how to turn it off, so I put it in the car in the garage. Now I'm awake again.
Reach Brad Stanhope at bradstanhope@outlook.com.
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