Which is stranger: Rotating cups or having favorite burner?

Pity my poor stove burners. Three of them, at least: The back-left burner and both of them on the right.

Because when I cook on the stove at Casa de Stanhope, I definitely have a favorite burner: the front left.

There's nothing wrong with the other three. They are fine at their job, I'm sure. I gladly use them when I need to cook multiple things.

They can burn hot. They can simmer. In fact, they probably do it as well as the front-left burner. I just prefer the front left burner.

I probably should feel bad for the other burners, though. I know they are not alive. I know they don't have feelings.

But neither do plates, cups and glasses – and I make an effort to treat them fairly.

Let me explain.

Like many Americans, we don't use all of our plates every time we eat. We have eight place settings and I suspect that most times we run the dishwasher, only two or three plates are in there, since it's now just Mrs. Brad and me. When our sons were at home, we often emptied the cupboards for a single meal or day, but no more.

Here's the deal, though: When I empty the dishwasher and put plates back in the cupboard, I rotate them. Otherwise, we'll just keep using the same plates over and over and over, which seems wrong.

I realize they won't wear out (Mrs. Brad and I have had the same plates since we married nearly 36 years ago and they haven't worn down), but it feels unfair to keep using the same dishes. All plates deserve to work, so I rotate them. It's only fair.

The same is true with coffee cups. I have my favorites, of course, but it seems wrong to keep the same cups in the prime positions on our coffee cup tree. Cups also won't wear out, but it's not fair to turn cups into the equivalent of being the backup to Cal Ripken Jr. or Brett Favre. All the cups should be occasionally used. It's only fair.

Same with glasses (although ours are plastic. You know what I mean). I rotate them – not to balance how they wear out, but out of fairness.

I've always valued fairness. I want an inclusive world. I want everybody to be able to play in a game. I don't like exclusive clubs or teams or leagues or groups. Let everyone participate.

Somehow, that translates to how I view dishes, cups and glasses: They're all equally important. They all deserve to be used and washed. None are more important than the others.

It's only fair.

But with a stove? I guess I'm an elitist. The key to being a good burner is the same as the key to real estate: Location, location, location.

If you want to be the most-used burner, be in the lower-left corner.

It's unfair, but that's how it goes.

Reach Brad Stanhope at bradstanhope@outlook.com.