Survey of men and makeup makes me uncomfortable

Live and let live, I say.

To each his own, I tell people.

Don't worry about what others think. You be you, I insist.

Then I read that a survey showed that one-third of young men would consider wearing makeup.

And I gasped.

A hypocrite? Probably. A victim of my time? Likely.

But . . .

What. The. Heck?

One-third of men would wear MAKEUP?

The study is real. Morning Consult, a market research company, conducted a study last fall of more than 2,000 men. Among those aged 18-29, 33 percent said they would consider wearing makeup. Among those aged 30-44, 30 percent said they would consider wearing makeup.

In other words, about one-third of adult men 44 and younger would consider wearing makeup.

Among the men who live at my house (me), zero percent would consider wearing makeup. At least in the way I think of makeup.

When I see "33 percent of young men would consider wearing makeup," I think of a 25-year-old wearing rouge, eyeliner and lipstick. You know, Tony Curtis and Jack Lemmon in "Some Like it Hot." You know, Tom Hanks in "Bosom Buddies."

You know, ancient pop culture references that are probably offensive in 2020.

A couple of thoughts on my first reaction.

First of all, if that's what you want to do, more power to you. (See first paragraph of this column.)

Secondly, I have a hard time thinking one-third of men in that age group want to look like that, especially since my studies indicate that about 80 percent of them have stubbly five-o'clock-shadow beards, which would pretty much make the rouge not work.

I know – or presume – that this statistic isn't about wearing flashy makeup. When a 25-year-old who works at a startup while driving an Uber to help pay for his expensive coffee and super-modern apartment (my stereotype of who answered this survey) says he would consider wearing makeup, he's probably talking about some product that I don't know exists. Something to make his beard stand out or to hide that untimely pimple.

Or something I already use, but don't consider makeup.

Right? Because when I think about my view of what types of products young men should wear, I realize some of my choices probably stunned my dad.

Hair products (mousse, in my case)? Why not just use some Brylcreem?

Shaving and not splashing on a generous amount of Old Spice? Ridiculous. Your skin will fall off!

So recognize this: My reaction to the statistics (again: About one-third of men 44 and younger say they'd consider wearing makeup) is made out of emotion, not logic.

Live and let live.

Do what you want to do.

Be you.

If you want to wear a skin moisturizing product or something to cover up blemishes (which actually is part of what this survey asked), go ahead.

BUT FOR CRYING OUT LOUD, WHEN A SURVEY-TAKER ASKS IF YOU'D CONSIDER WEARING MAKEUP, SAY NO.

There.

I'm not so uncomfortable with someone wearing makeup as I am with them saying they will wear makeup, which I realize is part of the problem with a society that makes people hide who they are.

If it makes you uncomfortable that someone doesn't like young men talking about wearing makeup, you've got company: Me. And I'm the one saying it.

Humans are complex. A generation from now, no one will believe that someone felt the way I feel. People will dig up the Daily Republic archive and use this column as representative of how people born in the mid-20th century were dinosaurs.

They're right.

But we're dinosaurs who didn't admit we would wear makeup.

Reach Brad Stanhope at bradstanhope@hotmail.com.