The secret to a longer life includes cream and sugar

Ohmygoshthisisawesome!

Hold on. Let me calm down. And wipe the sweat from my forehead.

OK. Deep breath.

Hold on, I've got to make a run to the bathroom. I'll be back . . . oh, never mind. I can hold it.

Anyway, here's some big news: According to a study of British adults, coffee drinkers have a slightly lower risk of death than non-coffee drinkers.

Although that's really a misstatement. We all have a 100 percent risk of death. Coffee drinkers will just keep the grim reaper waiting while we sip another cuppa Joe, because it turns out that coffee makes you live longer.

What's more, people who drink three or four cups of coffee a day have an even greater advantage.

Some say seven cups of coffee isn't too much. Maybe it's too much for that co-worker who is agitated by your incessant toe-tapping and chattering, but not for helping you live longer.

It's science!

Researchers at the National Cancer Institute in England (good basketball team, football team hasn't made a bowl game in decades) used data from people participating in a genetic study. They answer detailed lifestyle and health questions over a long period and allow the researchers to make sweeping conclusions. (Coffee = good.)

The study that appeared in the Journal of American Medical Association's JAMA Internal Medicine (JAMA is an acronym that I presume is inspired by Carl Carlton's iconic 1981 hit "She's a bad mama jama") found that coffee drinkers were 10 to 15 percent less likely to die in a decade than non-coffee drinkers. The study found that drinking more coffee didn't really make a difference, so it doesn't hurt you.

Take that, tea drinkers! Or 5-Hour Energy drinkers!

It's not a lone study.

Another British study (I love British medicine! Have you ever watched "Doc Martin?") found that those of us who drink three or four cups of coffee daily can significantly reduce our chances of early death.

That report reviewed more than 200 studies and said coffee consumption was "more often associated with benefit than harm," and said that even seven cups of coffee daily is safe.

The report by the University of Southampton combined information about the effect of coffee on various aspects of our bodies and found that three or four cups of java is ideal.

Here's a disclaimer: Health experts say people shouldn't start drinking coffee or increase their coffee consumption for health reasons, even though their studies show it helps keep us stay healthy. And alive. And energetic.

Although we should consider this possibility: Is there a chance that folks who drink seven cups of coffee a day just appear to live longer? That they die, but keep twitching around because of all that caffeine?

I'm not sure, but I need to run. Gotta make a bathroom run, then have another cup of coffee.

I guess I'm just a health nut.

Reach Brad Stanhope at bradstanhope@hotmail.com.