A report by Heart of England Foundation NHS Trust – one of the biggest operators of British hospitals – recently said that young children are finding it hard to hold pens and pencils because they use technology so much. The source for that information was "senior pediatric doctors," which sounds like doctors who treat older children (maybe teenagers?), but actually means doctors who have been treating children for a long time.
According to Sally Payne, the head pediatric occupational therapist at the NHS Trust, "Children coming into school are being given a pencil but are increasingly not able to hold it because they don't have the fundamental movement skills."
What?
WHAT??
"To be able to grip a pencil and move it, you need strong control of the fine muscles in your fingers," Payne said. "Children need lots of opportunity to develop those skills."
Payne blames the change on parents giving their children iPads, rather than building blocks, pulling toys and ropes. Articles about the study invariably report that traditionally, children played with such things as crayons to help them begin to develop the skills required to write.
This is outrageous! How ridiculous is it that in the 21st century, we rely on technology so much that our children can't even hold a pencil? Their fingers are so weak that they . . .
Wait . . .
They're too weak to hold a pencil? They lack the fine motor skills to sloppily trace things?
I call baloney.
Really.
How hard is it to hold a pencil? Do these researchers think we're so dumb that we'll believe that the average kindergartner is a 5-year-old version of Montgomery Burns from "The Simpsons," unable to grasp a pencil without fainting from exhaustion? Are we supposed to believe that the past 20 years have seen such a change in children and parents that teachers must show kids how to hold something that is easier to hold than a fork?
Hmmm.
Here's what I know after several decades on Earth: When a study comes out that says something shocking, one of the first things to consider is the source of funding.
Follow the money.
An example: I've been a diabetic since I was 14. During that time, there have been maybe a half-dozen artificial sweeteners introduced. Nearly all were heralded as the next big thing until the inevitable study: (Insert sweetener name here) causes cancer! It causes seizures! It causes extra arms to grow out of your chest! It turns you into a camel!
Some may be true (for instance, the camel one), but years of suspicion taught me that all those studies are financed by the same group: Big Sugar.
Who loses money if an artificial sweetener grows? Sugar.
Who funds those studies? I didn't do any research, but I have an opinion. I don't trust Big Sugar.
What does that have to do with weak-fingered British children? Well, just as I'm skeptical about the latest study that frightens people away from using artificial sweetener, I'm skeptical of a study that suggests that kindergartners can't hold pencils. It's absurd. Common sense says it's not true.
So who do I suspect?
Big Crayon.
Who would benefit from causing a panic among parents of young children that their offspring are losing fine motor skills because of technology? The folks who create crayons, the most popular way to build those skills in the preschool set – a way that nearly every article about the topic says is a natural way for kids to build pencil-holding skills.
Big Crayon!
Big Crayon should be ashamed of itself. And if you put sugar on a crayon and eat it, you'll get sick, according to a study I imagined.
See how they like it!
Reach Brad Stanhope at bradstanhope@hotmail.com.
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