It's as much a part of the holiday season as eggnog, Big Crosby music, the Sun Miser-Snow Miser throwdown and the Suisun City boat parade: My annual story-of-the-year tournament.
We've done it several times and the concept is simple: The biggest stories of the year compete head-to-head, like college basketball teams in March Madness. And by "biggest stories," I mean the things that impacted me the most, which might not line up with what the mainstream media tells you is most important.
Previous winners are Giants win World Series (2010), n/a (2011), Giants win World Series (2012), Mrs. Brad and I see start of Pepperbelly's Fire (2013), Madison Bumgarner's epic World Series (2014), Warriors win title (2015). So there's a certain sports angle to them, although (spoiler alert!) that could change this year.
On to the tournament:
QUARTERFINALS
Year of Trump vs. Pokemon Go!
At the start of 2016, Pokemon seemed as good a bet to win the presidency as Trump – and for several months during the summer, the mobile-phone-based, character-hunting game was even more popular. But against all odds, Trump overcame Pokemon Go's 500 million downloads and Hillary Clinton's double-digit lead to become the first former United States Football League owner to capture the White House. Trump advances to the semifinals.
Brandy tears her ACL vs. Zika virus outbreak
Brandy Stanhope is my soon-to-be 9-year-old dog, who occasionally substitutes for me in this space. She also is rocket-fast and went on daily runs . . . until she tore the dog equivalent of the ACL in her back right leg this summer. Surgery is impossibly expensive, so Brandy now runs less, although she's making progress. Meanwhile, the Zika virus hung over everything within 1,000 miles of the equator (and maybe more) this year, including the Summer Olympics in Rio de Janeiro. Still, Zika hasn't come to Suisun City, while Brandy's injury haunted my summer and fall. Brandy gingerly walks to the win.
Celebrity death avalanche vs. Blowing 3-1 leads
The Golden State Warriors miraculously overcame a 3-1 deficit against Oklahoma City to advance to the NBA Finals, where they became the first team to blow a 3-1 series lead. Months later, the Cleveland Indians couldn't close out their 3-1 lead in the World Series and the Cubs won. What could be worse? How about the deaths of David Bowie, Garry Shandling, Nancy Reagan, Morley Safer, Patty Duke, Garry Marshall and Gene Wilder? Celebrity death advances.
Battle of Nesjar vs. Brexit
In the Battle of Nesjar off the coast of Norway, Olaf Harraldsson defeated former co-regent Sweyn Haakonsson to confirm his status as King of Norway, but that is topped by Britain's shocking exit from the European Union in what turned out to be the second-most surprising election result of the year. Also notable: Brexit describes my departure. (Editor's note: The Battle of Nesjar happened in 1016, not 2016. We regret the error.)
SEMIFINALS
Year of Trump vs. Brandy tears her ACL
Even on election day, all the polls predicted a Clinton presidency – then Trump and the Republicans ran the table. Brandy, meanwhile, became the canine version of Gayle Sayers: Still great, but a shadow of her former self. But she can't top the first former reality show host to capture the White House. Trump wins again.
Celebrity death avalanche vs. Brexit
The referendum forcing the United Kingdom to withdraw from the European Union was a stunner. But you know what was more stunning? How about the deaths of Arnold Palmer, Fidel Castro, Glen Frey, Antonin Scalia and Muhammad Ali? Celebrity death advances.
FINALS
The Year of Trump vs. Celebrity deaths
Can you top the deaths of Merle Haggard, Prince, Gordie Howe, Pat Summit and John Glenn? Yes. With the most earth-shaking presidential election ever. And it marked the first time a member of the World Wrestling Entertainment Hall of Fame captured the White House. For everyone, 2016 goes down as the Year of Trump.
With that, it's time for me to Brexit.
Reach Brad Stanhope at bradstanhope@hotmail.com.
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