Here's how to make the debate a TV hit

A letter from one of the great script-fixers of television to the leaders of the Commission on Presidential Debates on the eve of tonight's second presidential jawboning.

Dear Commission:

Greetings and congratulations on the boffo ratings for your first debate a couple of weeks ago. It reminded me of the debut of "Gilligan's Island" in 1964 and of "Lost" in 2004. Both huge. And both got better (especially "Gilligan," when they introduced the idea of failed escapes!).

As you may know, I help make TV shows better. I take them from good to great.

I'm the one who added the idea of a potential second date to "The Love Connection." I suggested the expansion of "30 Minutes" to an hour. I came up with the idea of Fonzie jumping the shark on "Happy Days."

People still mention that, almost daily.

With your second debate airing tonight, I have some suggestions to boost ratings. Institute these and you could be another "Law & Order" or "Knots Landing." (With spinoffs!)

I'm a fan. I watched both the first presidential debate and the vice presidential debate. (OK. I didn't watch the vice presidential debate. No one did, so let it go.)

You've got a ratings hit. And as you prepare for your second episode, here are suggestions that can make your program even bigger, because it's fine to be "Dr. Ken," but wouldn't you rather be "The Walking Dead?"

Here are four suggestions to make your show better, starting with tonight's episode:

1. Enforce the time rules creatively. Here's how to do it: Introduce a trap door (like on the Game Show Network classic "Russian Roulette") that will open at the end of the allotted time. Or drop slime on candidates who talk too long (as on the former "Slime Time Live" on Nickelodeon). Who wouldn't want to see Hillary Clinton or Donald Trump drop down a chute or get covered in slime? Or to see them cut short a point to beat the clock? Add that, keep viewers.

2. Add Judge Judy. The moderator is usually a news broadcaster whose job is to be neutral. But your ratings could be hurt by candidates continually talking over each other – last time was like watching the jackals shout at each other on ESPN. I want a moderator with authority. I want Judy Sheindlin. She'll keep order and entertain. That's a dynamic duo!

3. Add a real-world segment. Candidates act like normal people, but we know they're not. Can Clinton or Trump make a pot of coffee? Can they figure out how to feed a family of four on $5 at Taco Bell? Do they know how to iron a shirt or how often you should change your motor oil? I want a 20-minute real-world challenge segment. The winner controls a shock collar for his or her opponent for the next five minutes. I'd keep watching!

4. Getting desperate? Finally, if the show starts losing ratings, go with my old favorite: Have Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton jump a shark while water skiing and wearing a leather jacket.

People will talk about it for decades!

Best of luck. I'll follow up soon about my idea for a wacky spinoff show, where the vice presidential candidates share an apartment in New York. "Pence, Kaine . . . and Chaos!"

Brad Stanhope is a former Daily Republic editor. Reach him at bradstanhope@hotmail.com.