Hey everyone, I'm putting this column in a No. 2 mayonnaise jar on Funk and Wagnalls' back porch (like Johnny Carson says!), so I can tell you what I think sometime in the future. Like maybe the year 2000.
• I read "The Sporting News" every week and Dick Young never runs out of column topics, so I can't image the older version of me ever running out of things to write about. I love notes columns, although Herb Caen in the San Francisco Chronicle writes about stuff I don't understand.
• Other than that, I'm like J.J. on "Good Times": Dyn-o-mite!
• So what should I write about? How about the most influential person in my life: Al Michaels.
Yes. Al Michaels. You might know him best from "Wide World of Sports," but I know him as the San Francisco Giants play-by-play announcer. Since that's what I'm going to be when I'm an adult, I pay close attention to everything he does.
When I sit down in front of the TV and practice announcing games into my awesome tape recorder, I think about Al Michaels. How he announces things. The stories he tells. I suspect that he'll still be the announcer for the Giants when I get the job as the No. 2 man.
• I just hope I'm there in time for John Montefusco, my favorite Giants player, to be inducted into the Hall of Fame.
• Al Michaels isn't the only thing I know. For instance, here are five people who will still be stars when I'm old:
5. Carl Douglas. "Kung Fu Fighting" will be the first of many hits for him.
4. John Lindsay. The former mayor of New York is going to be president.
3. Lynda Carter. You can't tell me that "Wonder Woman" isn't going to be a great, long-running TV show. It has everything!
2. Pete Rose. His style of baseball will never get old and his attitude guarantees him a place in the game after retirement. He's "Charlie Hustle!"
1. Gabe Kaplan. He's not only a great actor, he's funny! Every week on "Welcome Back, Kotter," he tells great jokes about his relatives.
• Here's something you may not know: If you chew a bunch of saltine crackers and don't swallow them, they stay in your mouth and can make it look like you're chewing tobacco. Like a baseball relief pitcher.
• My AM radio picks up stations from as far away as Denver and Seattle. I like listening to sports talk radio shows when I'm supposed to be asleep.
• The price of gas keeps going up. If we don't do something about the Arab Oil Embargo, it could cost more than $1 a gallon – and it's already caused my dad to cancel our plans to rent a Winnebago for our family vacation this year.
• I will never get sick of eating macaroni and cheese. And when I'm an adult, I'll eat Appian Way pizza and Kraft cheesecake every day. I love food that comes with all the ingredients in one box.
That will be dyn-o-mite!
• Until next time, keep on truckin'!
Brad Stanhope is a former (and future, for the 13-year-old Brad) Daily Republic editor. Reach him at bradstanhope@hotmail.com.
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