As I told the nation, "It's not every country that gets to celebrate the big 2-5-0." (Of course, Iran and Egypt are about 5,000 years old, but they're the Dick Van Dykes of nations. We're Macaulay Culkin or Tiger Woods – we became famous quickly and aren't as old as we feel.)
Anyway, I'm of the age to remember the bicentennial, which seemed like the biggest event in the history of America. In 1976, everyone had flags out. We had patriotic clothes. TV networks had things like "Bicentennial Minutes," where we were taught about Betsy Ross or Constitution Hall or Paul Revere by celebrities.
It was a different world in 1976. We were coming off a scandal-plagued presidential term, we had a confidence crisis as a nation, gas prices were unstable, the Giants were terrible.
Wait a second . . . that sounds familiar.
Things were different 50 years ago, though. We all watched three TV networks. We heard new music by listening to AM radio. We had tuna casserole for dinner at least once a week. We wore corduroy pants a lot.
Things are different now. On TV, instead of Love Boat, we have Love Island. Instead of The Carpenters, we have Sabrina Carpenter. Instead of playing Pong, we watch TikTok.
The lesson: The world changes a lot in 50 years and it also doesn't change a lot. But here's the thing for which I'm most grateful: I'm not spending the summer getting ready to be a high school freshman. So there's that.
On to today's topics du jour, a pocketful of notes . . .
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1. San Francisco 49ers. They're going for it in 2026, with players returning from injuries and a quarterback entering his prime. The odds are against them, but it's likely they'll be a contender for the next few years. They'll have multiple postseason chances in the next few years.
2. Golden State Valkyries. The WNBA's most successful expansion franchise is in its second year and the Valkyries are already a top-tier team. They seem unlikely to win it all this year, but all arrows are pointing up.
3. San Jose Sharks. They haven't even made the NHL playoffs since 2019, but they have a young superstar (Macklin Celebrini) and just drafted another potential star in Sweden's Ivar Stenberg. Note: NHL stars grow up fast.
4. San Francisco Giants. This has been a disastrous season and top executive Buster Posey hasn't proven that he knows what he's doing. However . . . the Giants' minor league system is in its best shape since right before winning three World Series. They might be a contender by the early 2030s.
5. Golden State Warriors. Steph Curry is still great, but fans are right when they call this team the "Olden State Warriors." The band isn't ready to break up, but it will take a complete refresh (and somehow landing another superstar) before they're contenders to win a championship.
•••
Nothing has shaken my confidence in my humanity more than those "prove you're human" tests on websites where you have to identify which of the nine (or 16 or 25) photos they show has a car or a bike or a bridge or something else.
I spend most of my time guessing. Is that a building or a bridge? Is construction equipment considered a car? Is that part of a bike or just a wheel? And if I'm looking for bikes, does a car with a bike rack count?
Mostly, I wonder why the ability to identify street signs makes us uniquely human. Maybe I'm not really human.
•••
The solution: A dog in the booth. Every NFL broadcasting booth should have a specially trained dog that would indicate during a replay when the whistle blew, allowing the announcers (and perhaps the referees) to know when the play was dead.
Networks (and NFL) you're welcome.
•••
I want to know, but due to slower reaction times and a lifetime of getting outside (or to a window) too late to see anything has taught me to weigh my options.
That means most often, I just ignore them. I feel like I miss out on some excitement because of that.
Reach Brad Stanhope at bradstanhope@outlook.com.
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