Noon, midnight and the mistaken ways people describe them

I realized it was an obsession when my son texted me, asking me to confirm his thoughts: "12 p.m. Central is 10 a.m. here, right?" he wrote.

It was for a work meeting. His company's headquarters are in Minneapolis, so everything runs on Central time. He just wanted to be sure he was on time.

But that's not what I read. Or it wasn't all I read.

"Yes," I wrote back. "Although I hate it when people say 12 p.m. It's NOON, because p.m. means AFTER noon. But yes, you are correct."

I presume he rolled his eyes. Or was confused. Or didn't read past the first word. He'd struck the strangest pet peeve nerve in his weird dad's world.

I have myriad language rules that I expect people to follow when writing (and even speaking). I don't condemn you for using them, but I quietly edit you in my brain.

For instance:

• You don't end a sentence with a preposition (leading to Mrs. Brad and me saying such things to each other as, "I wonder to whom this belongs?").
• You don't say "of" before the word "myriad." (There are myriad reasons for that. I can't think of any, but I remember learning this and now I insist on it. Check the paragraph above for the correct style.)
• You don't put an "s" on the end of forward or backward. Unless you're British, of course. Otherwise, it's a big step backward. No "s."

But mostly, there is no such thing as 12 p.m. or 12 a.m., despite the work of virtually every person who makes a flier (hey! Another one. A sheet of paper advertising something is a flier, not a flyer). This is the rule where I draw the line, personally and professionally.

In my job, I occasionally edit items that include times. Nothing causes me to roll my eyes more than when an event starts or ends at 12 p.m. ("Which is that?" I'll ask whoever is nearby in mock confusion. "Is it midnight? Is it noon? Because there's no such thing as 12 p.m.!")

The midnight/noon reasoning is simple.

The acronym "p.m." means post meridiem, a Latin phrase for midday. In other words, p.m. is any time after midday, which is noon. Since noon is not after noon (it is noon!), it's not p.m. It's not a.m. It's noon.

The reverse is true for a.m., which means ante meridiem, Latin for before midday. Before noon. So midnight isn't 12 p.m. or 12 a.m. It's midnight.

If you think I'm crazy about this, I'm not! Wikipedia's entry on a.m. and p.m. includes a full section on the confusion that happens when people want to write 12 p.m. or 12 a.m. and attempted solutions, but it highlights that most style guides suggest the obvious: Use noon and midnight.

(Note: Citing Wikipedia to support my argument makes me nervous. Wikipedia has a 1,025-word entry on toilet paper orientation and a 392-word entry on the idea of a "toast sandwich"–toast between two slices of bread. However, I'll take support where I can get it.)

I stand on the truth. My son may think I'm losing it. My workmates think I obsess over it. Mrs. Brad may have heard my explanation dozens of times and the entire world may know what someone means when they write "12 p.m."

I don't know what they mean.

Gary Cooper and Eric Clapton would agree with me. The movie was "High Noon," not "High 12 p.m." and the song was "After Midnight," not "After 12 a.m."

It's simple. Say noon and midnight and we all understand.

Reach Brad Stanhope at bradstanhope@outlook.com.