Got a ricer in your kitchen? You're younger or a great cook

Do you have chopsticks in your kitchen? Do you use a mandolin (apparently not just a musical instrument!) as a utensil?

You probably watched "The Simpsons" growing up – perhaps in reruns. You're younger.

Do you have a ladle in your kitchen?

You probably watched O.J. Simpson while growing up. As an NFL star, not a defendant.

Your kitchen utensils reveal how old you are. Or vice-versa.

First, some definitions: "Young," means 44 or younger. "Older" means 45 or older. Those aren't my definitions, they're from the folks at  Yougov.com, whose job description should include, "providing data to help Brad with column ideas." Yougov.com recently surveyed 1,000 American adults about one of the pressing issues of the day: What utensils are in your kitchen?

First, the commonalities. Almost all of us – regardless of age and cooking ability – have some kitchen utensils in common: Measuring cups, can openers, spatulas and measuring spoons are owned by more than 90% of us. More than 85% of us own steak knives, colanders, cutting boards and tongs.

When it comes to kitchen utensils, those are the basics.

Deeper down the list it gets more dicey. The following items are owned by less than three-quarters of us: food thermometer, potato masher, rolling pin, ice cream scooper.
Don't feel bad if you don't have an ice cream scooper. About one-third of your neighbors don't, either.
The intriguing part to me was the list of items that tended to be owned only by people who consider themselves expert chefs or only by people 44 and younger since I'm neither (and Mrs. Brad is only one of them).
Among those items far more likely to be owned by people who consider themselves "great cooks" are such things as zesters, garlic presses, the aforementioned mandolin and ricers.
Apparently, a ricer is something that processes food by making it go through small holes the size of rice. Who knew?
The list of items more likely to be owned by people 44 and younger is remarkably similar to those who think they're great cooks, which suggests that most people who think they are great cooks are young. Apparently, those young great cooks don't realize that you shouldn't name a kitchen utensil a "mandolin" when there's already a great musical instrument with that name. It's like naming a type of food a drumstick when there's . . . never mind. It's like calling musical instruments spoons when there's . . . never mind.

I guess when it comes down to it, we have in our kitchen what we need. And over time, those things change.
When was the last time you saw someone with a breadbox? When did you last use a hand mixer? Heck, when did you last use a Pyrex container to keep leftovers?
Maybe someday, people will look back on the 2020s as the golden age of the ricer or talk about when grandma used a mandolin.
If people remember that, it won't change the fact that "ricer" is a weird name for a utensil, but what do I know? I'm old and not a great cook.

The proof? I don't have a ricer.

Reach Brad Stanhope at brad.stanhope@outlook.com.