No, it's not that one. I'm talking about Bradville.
Of course, you've heard all about the proposed Camelot to be built by tech billionaires who bought up thousands and thousands of acres between Fairfield and Rio Vista. The idea is to build a "European-style city" (one that gets steamrolled every 50 to 100 years by a massive war?) on what is now agricultural land.
There's been plenty of noise about that, much of it from local residents and officials who say they won't let it happen.
That's not my city.
Bradville is more modest. I can't afford to buy any land, so I'm hoping the county will just give me the land. Maybe as an alternative to the proposed uber-town, allowing Solano leadership to say, "We've already started a new city. It's called Bradville. Why do we need another one?"
Bradville is the town. The time is now.
Frankly, I'm not an urban planner. I'm not even an urbane planner (Webster's definition of urbane: notably polite or polished in manner). But I've got a great idea: A town that's a mixture of Andy Griffith's Mayberry and a postcard (one that creates a false memory of how things used to be).
So here's the plan: All I need is maybe 100 acres, maybe less. Enough room to build Bradville with maybe 10 houses and a coffee shop/gas station/post office/city hall where residents will hang out and chat. Where all the residents of Bradville will feel at home. Kind of like "Cheers."
OK. So it's a combination of "The Andy Griffith Show" and "Cheers."
We won't need schools: Our students can commute to the nearest town for their education. We can even get by without law enforcement, having the Solano County Sheriff's Office on patrol.
We would, however, have some special laws. And as the King of Bradville (in case I forgot to mention it, that's part of the plan), I would enforce them with a strong hand.
For instance, there would be no backing into parking spots. I don't care that you have a big truck or that it makes you nervous to back into a parking spot. Just pull into the spot. Violate that and lose your car.
Also, folks in Bradville would not be allowed to use the phrase "what-not." Sure, we're friendly and folksy, but not rubes (my apologies if you use the phrase, you rube.).
Oh, and no Raiders fans, either. Sorry. You scare us. We'll allow Tony Wade to write about our history, though (as long as he does all interviews by phone and stays out of Bradville).
In Bradville, we'll have regular suburban houses and streets, because we're not pretentious. The gas station (part of the mixed-use building that includes the coffee shop, post office and city hall) will give away bobbleheads and antenna balls, like in the old days. The person working the front desk at the city hall/post office (they may be combined) will always be friendly and know your name.
Here's the best part: There's no big risk. Bradville will be like Birds Landing or Collinsville – two towns that are in the targeted area – but it will be incorporated. A real town. With a king.
Does the other proposed new city concern you? Are you baffled as to why someone would build another town? Do you think they might not realize how hard it will be to plant "a million" trees? Do they not know that all trees will lean at a 45-degree angle to the east due to the wind?
Those problems won't exist in Bradville, which will feel like the towns in those cheesy Hallmark movies. And the "Andy Griffith Show." And "Cheers."
Reach Brad Stanhope, king of the proposed town of Bradville, at bradstanhope@outlook.com.
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