We were born into a world of Susans; now it's a world of Mavericks

Kindergarten in 2027 will be dramatically different than it was for me.

Technology will be different. Students won't take naps on towels brought from home nor eating graham crackers. The academic standards will surely be higher than in Mrs. Sherman's class at South Bay Elementary School.

But the biggest difference? No Susans. No Karens. No Donnas or Todds or Carls.

The names that crowded my childhood classroom lists – and likely crowded yours – are no longer in use. There aren't any 5-year-olds named Cindy or Glenn.

The list of the most popular baby names in 2022, published by the Social Security Administration, provided plenty of fodder for those of us who like to make fun of modern names: Asher is the 19th-most popular boys name? Maverick is 40th? Luna is 10th and Mila 19th among girls?

We scoff because we know no one with those names. And it's true, because the names of our childhood – the Donalds and Rogers and Pamelas and Brendas – have disappeared. Almost literally, because the SSA also publishes the most popular names by decade.

In the 1960s – the decade in which Michael Jordan, Tom Cruise, Barak Obama, Jennifer Lopez and I were born–the top girls name was Lisa.

By 2022, Lisa had fallen to No. 933 on the list of the top 1,000 girls names. That was better than the aforementioned Susan, Karen and Donna – all top-10 names in the 1960s that didn't even make the top 1,000 in 2022. Other top 100 girls names of the 1960s that fell entirely out of the top 1,000 by 2022 are Pamela, Lori, Brenda, Diane, Carol, Cindy, Janet, Carolyn, Connie, Judy, Beverly and Darlene.

Boys names similarly dropped, but not to the dramatic extent (I only count Todd, Carl and Glenn in the top 100 of the 1960s that weren't in the top 1,000 in 2022). Still, these names were top-100 in the 1960s and ranked below No. 500 in 2022: Donald, Gary, Keith, Larry, Dennis, Roger, Wayne and Harold.

What does it mean, other than that times changes and various things influence naming patterns? Karen is now shorthand for a complaining baby boomer; Donald was the name of a not-so-beloved president; Roger sounds like a 60-year-old guy.

Here's the takeaway: Modern names are pretty cool (my granddaughters' names ranked eighth, 137th and 235th in 2022, so I like them) and reflect modern tastes. In six decades, we'll have a bunch of senior citizens named Maverick and Grayson and Kai and Aria, Nova (including my great-niece!) and Willow. Alas, I won't be here to marvel at that fact.

But here's a tip if you're expecting a child or will have a child in the next decade. If you want to be "different," don't name your child Liam or Olivia (the top names in 2022).

Go back to the old-school favorite that will come back over time. Consider naming your child Nancy (26th in the 1960s, 997th in 2022), Linda (seventh in the 1960s, 807th in 2022), Larry (35th in the 1960s, 889th in 2022) or even Bradley (72nd in the 1960s, 349th in 2022).

If you want a classic name for your child, try Wayne or Brenda. If you pick Luna or Asher, your child will be just another in a series of kids with that name.

Reach Brad Stanhope at bradstanhope@outlook.com.