Back scratchers, graduation kudos, A's fans and more

Of all the devices created by humanity over time – clothing, eyeglasses, cars, smartphones, shoehorns, tennis rackets – it's difficult to find something that more perfectly fulfills its mission and is more accurately named that the humble back scratcher.

Oh, sure, you've got the toilet plunger and the lawnmower. You've got the toaster and the bike rack. But the back scratcher?

This is an item that is designed for one specific purpose: To allow we pathetic, short-armed humans the chance to scratch those hard-to-reach places on our backs and simply scratch them.

When we don't have a back scratcher in our possession, we're reduced to one of two potential approaches, both of which are sad. One is to ignore the itching and hope it goes away (which just makes it worse). The other is to rub up against a wall corner like a cat or bear or dog and look strange.

Alas, the $5 (or less) back scratcher does the job perfectly and remains viable for years, maybe decades. If you buy a back scratcher, it will probably last you 20 years or more.

Is there a better tool? Is there a tool that has a better name? I say no.

On to the topics du jour . . .

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It's been a few weeks since many high school and college graduations, but let me add my two cents: This year's graduating class likely endured a tougher road than any class since the Class of 1945.

If you graduated in 2023, you were a freshman when the COVID-19 pandemic hit hardest. The end of your freshman year and most of your sophomore year were dominated by the pandemic, costing you the opportunity to build the crucial relationships and skills that are so helpful to navigate those four years. A sense of normalcy came back for your junior and senior years, but the absence of that formational period undoubtedly affected your experience.

The Class of 1945 similarly had World War II start during their freshman year — and continue throughout high school or college. Kudos to those who made it through. You had a rough time, but you'll always have great stories.

• • •

I have incredible respect — and pity — for fans of the Oakland Athletics.

The A's are having a historically bad season (on pace for one of the worst records in modern baseball history), they have an owner who appears to be deliberately trying to lose, they play in the worst ballpark in baseball and the team has announced a plan to move to Las Vegas.

Yet A's fans continue to show up. Sometimes it's 5,000 fans or fewer. Sometimes (like on the recent "reverse boycott game, when fans showed up to prove a point) it's more.  Regardless, how loyal do you have to be to go watch a franchise that doesn't try to win and plans to leave? For my money, while there aren't nearly as many A's fans as Giants or Warriors or 49ers or even Sharks fans in the Bay Area, those A's fans are the most loyal.

They deserve better. They won't get it with the current ownership, who will prove that they can be terrible in Las Vegas, too.

• • •

One request for people who create television commercials: Can you quit putting the QR code on the screen?

Am I supposed to always have my phone ready, then sprint to the screen and capture that code so I can then go to your website and get confused?

The use of QR codes for restaurant menus has largely failed. Do they seriously think it will work on a TV commercial?

It won't. Unless, of course, it's to get a free back scratcher. Then I'm all in.

Reach Brad Stanhope at bradstanhope@outlook.com.