If mosquitoes love you, it's because you're very human

One of life's mysteries is solved.

I've experienced it and you likely have too: A period when someone (maybe you, maybe another person) is attacked by bugs and others aren't. The person under attack is swatting them away while others think there isn't much of a bug problem.

For decades, Mrs. Brad and I have faced this. Bugs love her (just like dogs and cats love her, but are suspicious of me until I prove myself). They swarm her, while generally ignoring me. Mosquitoes find her irresistible. Gnats are attracted to her. (Insert your joke about me here.)

There is clearly a difference in how they swarm her and largely ignore me.

Turns out, she's not alone. Turns out, there's science behind what's happening – at least with mosquitoes. Turns out, if you're someone mosquitoes regularly attack, you probably can attribute it to your smell.

Yes.

Your smell. You smell good to a mosquito!

According to a study published last fall in the journal Cell (a scientific magazine, not to be confused with the prison newspaper I launched during my brief incarceration on Alcatraz in 1952), certain body odors are the reason mosquitos love people.

Scientific American, another magazine, described the study's conclusion thusly: "Every person has a unique scent profile made up of different chemical compounds, and the researchers found that mosquitoes were most drawn to people whose skin produces high levels of carboxylic acids. Additionally, the researchers found that peoples’ attractiveness to mosquitoes remained steady over time, regardless of changes in diet or grooming habits."

So accept it: If mosquitoes love you, they really love you and you can't do anything about it. It's like your mother (or a particularly terrible stalker).

Scientists have wondered about this for a while. One previous theory was that mosquitos were drawn to people with certain blood types, but that didn't really stand up.

In this study, scientists discovered that carboxylic acids are the determining factor. Carboxylic acids are acids produced in the oily layer that coats our skin, the amount of which varies for different people. The study couldn't determine whether there's anything that causes more carboxylic acids to be produced, but it concluded that our skin is fairly consistent in its levels of the acid over time.

That's what mosquitoes like and there may be a solid reason.

Researchers suggest that mosquitoes possibly love carboxylic acid because it's far more prominent on humans than other animals. Where you find humans, you find water. Mosquitoes, as anyone who lives near the Suisun Slough knows, love water. So they love humans and they love carboxylic acid.

So if you're a mosquito-attracting person, is there anything you can do? Probably not, although there is hope that this information might lead to some bright researcher finding a way to disguise or mitigate the carboxylic acid on your skin. Another possibility is that we force mosquitoes to consume large volumes of cocaine, which might damage their ability to smell. Or that we find tiny clothespins to put on mosquitoes' noses to make it harder for them to smell.

Ultimately, I guess, those who are attractive to mosquitoes can take solace in this: They're attractive to the bugs because they're extremely human.

Personally, I'll accept being less human-smelling if it avoids the mosquitoes.

Reach Brad Stanhope at bradstanhope@outlook.com.