Science has been lying to you, but we finally have a true millipede (plus)

We finally have a millipede that lives up to its name.

And it's still wrong: Milli means one thousand (even though it should mean "one million," right?). Pede means feet. A millipede should obviously have 1,000 feet, which would require 500 pairs of shoes, which would definitely make back-to-school shopping expensive for the Pede family.

Turns out, millipedes don't have 1,000 feet. Madness!

Until recently, the millipede species with the most legs had 750 legs, making it a .75 millipede if we want accuracy. However, insect scientists (by that, I mean scientists who study insects, although the idea of insects who have jobs as scientists is an interesting possibility.) found a change.

Eumillipes persephone came along.

Legs? It's got plenty. It's got the greatest legs since Joey Heatherton, which is a great line for anyone 80 and older. OK, the greatest legs since Beyonce. Or Justin Tucker, the Baltimore Ravens kicker who is seen as the best in the league at his position.

So, great legs. A lot of legs.

It has 1,306 legs. That's right, the first true millipede – actually, a mega-millipede, which would require (if my math is correct) 653 pairs of tiny shoes for a new school year.

Eumillipes persephone (that's the species' name) also has no eyes, which leaves open the possibility that its parents could buy cheap, ugly shoes and the 1,306-foot bug wouldn't know. Maybe that could save some money, which when you're buying 653 pairs of shoes, can really add up.

Scientists found eumillipes persephone below ground in Australia – about 200 feet below ground. The guys in white jackets were thrilled.

“We always hypothesized that there would be a ‘true’ millipede discovered someday,” said Jackson Means, a myriapodologist at the Virginia Museum of Natural History in an article on Vice.com. But the discovery of one with over 1,300 legs, almost double the previous leg count? “That was pretty astonishing,” he said.

You know what else is astonishing? That scientists and our teachers let us believe millipedes had 1,000 legs when they knew (or should have known) that wasn't true. It wasn't even close.

By the way, it's not the only such lie. Centipedes, which should have 100 feet (centi = 100) don't have that many. According to a random website I checked, centipedes range from 30 legs to 354. Hopefully, it's always an even number, or they might walk in a long circle.

But I digress. Centipedes don't have 100 legs. Millipedes don't have 1,000 legs (although eumillipes persephone has 1,306ish).

Do you know what else is true?

Strawberries and raspberries are not berries.

Koala bears are not bears.

Jellyfish are not made out of jelly and they aren't fish.

Guinea pigs are not pigs, nor are they from Guinea.

I guess I'd be even more upset if I didn't have sports to keep me straight. I know that no matter what happens, the Boston baseball team wears red socks, the Green Bay football team works during the week packing boxes and the Utah NBA team members all play jazz music.

But back to the main point. We now have our first true millipede, albeit one with an extra 306 legs.

You're now smarter. And the Pede family is out the money for several hundred pairs of tiny shoes.

Reach Brad Stanhope at bradstanhope@outlook.com.