In adulthood, I still don't want people to make fun of my music choices.
I have some ridiculous musical loves. I like Barry Manilow. I like the boy bands of the late 1990s. I think "Mmm-bop" is one of the greatest pop songs ever written.
I have other musical tastes, but they're not as amusing. But I admit this: If I'm listening to a Partridge Family song or "Hot Rod Lincoln" and someone pulls up next to me at a stoplight, I generally reach over and turn down the music. Because it's a guilty pleasure – a song I like, but feel embarrassed to do so.
You're probably similar. There are songs that you publicly mock, but if you're alone and they come on, you find yourself happy. They're guilty pleasure songs.
Here are 10 you secretly like, in alphabetical order.
"Achy, Breaky Heart," by Billy Ray Cyrus. The song was absurd. His mullet was absurd. The song was infectious. His mullet was awesome. Can we just be honest and not apologize for liking this song?
"Bye, Bye, Bye" by N'Sync. Maybe the height of the boy bands craze, this song is tremendous (and so is "I Want it That Way" by the Backstreet Boys). You like it. But dislike yourself for that fact.
"Careless Whisper" by Wham! Guilty feet ain't got no rhythm, but we still get sucked in by the song. If someone pulls up next to you while you're singing "I should have known better than to cheat a friend . . ." you'll turn this down. But you won't turn it off.
"Convoy," by C.W. McCall. He talks. He uses CB language. He proposes that a group of big rigs race across the country (never stopping for gas?) and crash through barricades. But you secretly enjoy it, right? 10-4.
"Escape (The Pina Colada Song)," by Rupert Holmes. A dumb story song about a couple unwittingly writing classified advertising notes to each other (reminder: Support your local newspaper). Two guarantees: When it comes on, you'll say it's dumb. And you'll sing the chorus.
"Indian Reservation (The Lament of the Cherokee)," by Paul Revere and the Raiders. Bubblegum pop with the perfect ending. Admit it: You enjoy hearing this every 20 years or so when it accidentally comes on.
"In the Year 2525," by Zager and Evans. This was presumably embarrassing to like in 1970 (a year after it was released) and remains so now. But you hear it and you find yourself envisioning people not needing their teeth or eyes because there's nothing to chew and no one looks at them. Another song with a great ending.
"Livin' La Vida Loca," by Ricky Martin. We all make fun of Ricky Martin. Then this song comes on and we realize how great it was (although we pretend it's not).
"Stayin' Alive," by the Bee Gees. This was widely mocked about 10 years after it was a hit and everyone still mocks it by doing the finger-pointing disco move. Then the song comes on . . . and you do the finger-pointing disco move. With joy.
"U Can't Touch This," by MC Hammer. Go ahead and complain that Hammer stole the music from "Superfreak" by Rick James. Blame Hammer for making saccharine hip-hop for white suburban kids. But you'll yell "Hammer time!" and envision him dancing in those genie pants.
There are more guilty pleasure songs – many more – but start with those 10.
Right now, you are insisting that you don't like them, but you're lying to yourself.
But maybe one day when we've learned, Cherokee nation will return.
Will return. Will return. Will return.
Reach Brad Stanhope at bradstanhope@outlook.com.
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