A complicated, deeper look at our favorite Christmas carols

I like Christmas carols. I sing Christmas carols. When radio stations start playing Christmas songs (usually around Thanksgiving), I start listening.

I love "O Holy Night" and "Silent Night" and "Joy to the World." I love "Santa Claus is Coming to Town" and "It's The Most Wonderful Time of the Year" and "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas." I have a particular affection for early-1980s songs "Last Christmas" and "Do They Know it's Christmas?"

But the genre isn't perfect. Far from it. Frankly, some Christmas songs are sinister, some are meaningless and a surprising number are not about Christmas.

Pull up a chair for three observations on Christmas songs that may change your perspective.

Most menacing song: A lot has been made in recent years of how "Baby It's Cold Outside" is the "rapiest" Christmas song – with good reason, since the lyrics involve a man who won't take "no" for an answer.

However, I believe another song is equally menacing. "We Wish You a Merry Christmas" seems happy, but takes a dark turn when the singers demand figgy pudding and tell the listeners, "we won't go until we get some, so bring it right here!" Oh, sure, a neighbor might offer a treat if you stopped by to sing Christmas carols, but to demand specific payment (who has figgy pudding in their fridge?) and refuse to leave unless your demands are met? "We Wish You a Merry Christmas" is a musical ransom note.

Most simplistic song: Perhaps no song is played more often on holiday radio stations than "Feliz Navidad," Jose Feliciano's 1970 tune that makes everyone feel bilingual. Let's be honest: The song is just chorus, verse, chorus, verse. And the verse is just a repeat.

In fact, there are 20 distinct words in the lyrics. Total. Used over and over: Feliz, Navidad, prospero, ano, y, felicidad, I, want, to, wish, you, a, merry, Christmas, from, the, bottom, of, my, heart.

Twenty words, occasionally changing order. That's it. Just 20 words. Come on!

For comparison sake, "Boogie Shoes" by K.C. and the Sunshine Band has about 80 distinct words. "You are so Beautiful" by Joe Cocker – a nice song, but a similar pattern – has 31 distinct words.

Add another verse or something!

Non-Christmas songs: Any list of great "Christmas" songs includes a bunch of tunesthat never mention Christmas, Jesus, Santa Claus or the holidays.

For instance, "Baby It's Cold Outside" is a winter song, not a Christmas song. So is "Winter Wonderland," "Frosty the Snowman," "Sleigh Ride" and "Let it Snow." So is. . . are you ready?

"Jingle Bells!"

"Jingle Bells" makes zero references to Christmas. It's about racing through the woods in a sleigh pulled by a single horse. Period.

Apparently, we sing these songs at Christmas because it's winter, which isn't universally true. Christmas is celebrated Dec. 25 around the world, which means in the Southern Hemisphere, Christmas comes in early summer.

So in the Southern Hemisphere, do they consider summer songs to be "Christmas songs?"

Is "Hot Fun in the Summertime" by Sly and the Family Stone a Christmas song in New Zealand?

Is "Summertime" by DJ Jazzy Jeff and the French Prince  a holiday song in Argentina?

Is "School's Out for Summer" by Alice Cooper a Christmas classic in South Africa?

I could go on – and will, unless you bring me some figgy pudding. Bring it right here.

I won't go until I get some!

Reach Brad Stanhope at bradstanhope@outlook.com.