Cults don't necessarily involve people embracing an unusual lifestyle or believing something that most of us find incomprehensible.
Cults are defined as "a system of veneration and devotion directed toward a particular figure or object." They are also "a misplaced or excessive admiration for a particular person or thing."
Like those who worship at the shrine of Apple. Or Oprah.
Today we're talking about American cults – in this case, organizations that receive unexplainable love from admirers. A decade ago, such a list would have included Oprah and Starbucks, but cults don't last forever.
(By the way, this is like columns I wrote several years ago about overrated people: Anyone who disagrees with me proves my point, because if they disagree it proves they are brainwashed. Your denial about a cult proves that it is a cult. Get it?)
The most obvious American cults:
Apple. A new iPhone comes out and people line up around the block. A new MacBook comes out and people insist we should all get one. An updated iPad or Apple Watch? People go crazy about it. Ask an Apple disciple about the company's products and you experience what it's like to ask a cult member what they believe. Apple's history as a technology company is impressive. Apple's history as a cult is even more amazing.
Las Vegas Raiders. What do you call an organization that treats its followers shamefully and followers double their devotion every time? A cult. The Raiders leaving Oakland twice has just increased how much their fans love them. If the Raiders banned fans from seeing games and tried to lose every game (which might be a description of the 2020 season), fans might become even more passionate. In this cult, Al Davis is the messiah figure – a jumpsuit-wearing, Brooklyn-accented messiah.
Chick-fil-A and In-n-Out. Chick-fil-A has outstanding chicken sandwiches (and I have a good friend who works for them!). In-N-Out Burger has tasty, fresh ingredients. I'll concede as much. But both are fast-food restaurants. Fast food restaurants! How is it that a chicken restaurant inspires people to camp out for days before it opens? How is it that a hamburger restaurant creates followers who will argue on social media about how great the product is? I don't know. But that's the thing about cults: They inspire surprising devotion.
Disney. Mickey Mouse. Beauty and the Beast. Elsa. Bambi. They all work for a multibillion dollar global conglomerate that has convinced millions of Americans to empty their wallets a few times a year to overpay for dolls and experiences. Disneyland is great and so is Disney World. The Disney movie company is good. But Disney isn't in business to improve your life. It's in business to make money – nearly $70 billion annually. Cult members act as if that's not true. They act as if Disney is a nonprofit that exists to provide perfect entertainment. It's an effective cult.
There are more: Michael Jordan has a cult-like following, as does the Dave Matthews Band. So do Tesla and ESPN. There are undoubtedly more.
The point? Go ahead and like your Apple, Disney, Chick-fil-A, In-N-Out and Raiders. Just realize you're part of a cult.
Reach Android-using, 49ers-loving Brad Stanhope at bradstanhope@outlook.com (a Microsoft email address).
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