Maybe a month after the pandemic began, what had been obvious to psychologists forever became clear to the rest of us: We don't really like being alone.
Unless it's totally on our terms, perhaps. Maybe not even then.
You hear the claims all the time: "I wish I had more time alone." "I'd love to just go away and have no interference." "I wish I could get away from the world." "Brad, quit doing dumb things to get cheap laughs."
Most of those statements (75 percent of them) have the same basis: The thought that if only we could get away and be alone, things would be better. Solitude is desired. The fact that we say that while checking our smartphones every five minutes for social media updates should be enough evidence that it isn't true, but being shut in at home for weeks proved it.
We like interaction. Few of us want to be around people all the time, but most of us would go crazy if we lacked interaction.
I realize there are people who are fine being away from everyone. There's a reason some people are hermits or Miami Marlins fans. But even those people probably need some interaction.
We learned that from the pandemic.
Of course, the experience of our lifetimes should have taught us that. The fact that prisoners are punished by solitary confinement should have told us that. Putting kids in "time out" or making them stand in the corner when they misbehave should have taught us that.
A 2014 study at the University of Virginia should have proven that to us.
The 2014 study involved hundreds of volunteers who took part in "thinking periods," where they were placed in sparsely furnished rooms and were asked to . . . think. Some were told what to think about, others weren't. There were no cellphones, books or anything. Just them in a chair, thinking. Time in solitude.
They rated the experience and most gave it middling scores. They didn't love it, but it wasn't the worst thing ever.
Then they were put in a room, not given anything to think about and shown a button.
The button would shock them. A literal shock.
Before the test, most participants said they would pay money to avoid being shocked.
Yet . . .
Left alone for 15 minutes with nothing to do but think, 67 percent of the men and 25 percent of the women shocked themselves. They shocked themselves rather than sit there for 15 minutes, alone with their thoughts. They wanted to do something.
So they shocked themselves.
Humans!
Of course, there's something entirely unsurprising in the results: Men shocked themselves at a rate of nearly three times women did. Two out of every three men in the study shocked themselves out of boredom. In 15 minutes!
That tells you how much men don't like to think. And how much men enjoy toying with danger.
Really, the pandemic's early months shouldn't have been a surprise. The fact that we were told to stay home until further notice led to predictable results: Put 21st-century people in their homes and tell them to stay and pretty soon they'll get restless. They'll demand to go out and shop. They'll want sports back.
Heck, there were plenty of times in March and April that – had Mrs. Brad not been around to hear my dumb musings – I might have shocked myself to avoid boredom. There were no sports! We couldn't go out!
Dumb? Yes. But at least I know this: Among men, I'm in the majority.
That's the shocking truth.
Reach Brad Stanhope at bradstanhope@hotmail.com.
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