In what could be the greatest thing since the 11-year-old version of me fell asleep every night listening to baseball, basketball and football games (and tennis matches) from up and down the West Coast, astronomers have detected a pattern in a fast radio burst from space.
I'm not sure what a "fast radio burst" means, but I suspect it means more radio stations!
Radio from space. Today's hits, yesterday's favorite. Hot talk. Traffic and weather on the eights. Giants games.
I don't know all the details, but here's what was announced: Earlier this year, astronomers identified two distinct fast radio burst patterns. First, they found a pattern that repeated in a weird sequence: Broadcasting (my term) once or twice an hour for four days, then silent for 12 days.
Later, they found a burst that "broadcasts" for 90 days, then is silent for 67 days.
A pretty solid broadcasting schedule. Predictable, at least.
Now that we know the schedule, the next question is what is being broadcast. Sure, the scientists identify the information as "radio bursts," rather than programming, but we've all been around long enough to know that "radio bursts" means "radio format."
Classic rock? Sports talk? Some new format?
Growing up in Humboldt County, my AM radio could pick up stations up and down the Pacific coast and across the western United States. I mostly listened to sports, so I could hear dozens of games a night. From stations in Seattle, Portland, the Bay Area, Los Angeles, even Salt Lake City and Denver. I also listened to stations that featured countdowns of the most popular songs, talk radio or even occasional radio dramas.
It was great because it made my world feel so much bigger than Humboldt County.
Of course, the 11-year-old me didn't realize that there were stations in distant galaxies that were also broadcasting. Do they have sports? Music (by Ringo Starr, Jefferson Starship, Bill Haley and the Comets)? Maybe talk radio (callers talking about threats from other galaxies and demonizing the inhabitants)?
Had I known, I would have asked for a more powerful radio for my 12th birthday.
Back to the programming. Scientists have plenty of theories about what's behind the bursts and the patterns.
Some researchers think the bursts could be due to the orbit of a huge star. Or a black hole. Or a dense neutron star. Researchers hope to find more repeating fast radio bursts and see if they have patterns. They also hope to discover if patterns change over time.
My observation: Of course the patterns will change. Radio formats always change. The former top-40 station becomes a classic rock station and then a country station and then a talk radio station. Maybe later it switches to religious programming or becomes a Spanish-language station.
Terrestrial radio stations are always flipping formats. Why wouldn't an intergalactic station?
However, one bit of advice to the operators of the intergalactic radio stations: Beware of fast video bursts.
Radio got knocked down when TV came in the 1950s. When music videos arrived in the 1980s. When the internet arrived in the 1990s.
As any student of history will tell you, video killed the radio star.
The question now is whether video will kill the star radio.
I just hope I can get my cool new receiver before that happens.
Reach Brad Stanhope at bradstanhope@hotmail.com.
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