In a recent poll, Americans were asked their opinions about a variety of sandwiches, which were then ranked based on the responses. The peanut butter and jelly sandwich, the George Washington/Babe Ruth/Jimmy Stewart of sandwiches, came in . . . ninth.
Ninth! Behind even the club sandwich, for crying out loud. Who eats club sandwiches? Clubs taste terrible between two slices of bread!
Anyhow, a quick review of the survey reveals that the secret to being a favorite among Americans is to be bland.
Just ask a grilled cheese sandwich.
Yes, the grilled cheese sandwich, which ranks as the favorite sandwich in America, based on the survey by data company YouGov.
Grilled cheese. More beloved than a ham sandwich or a tuna sandwich (not "tuna fish" sandwich, since we don't say we're having a "ham pig" sandwich). Eight spots ahead of peanut butter and jelly.
Grilled cheese.
I have no gripe with grilled cheese sandwiches. They're good. Acceptable. Grilled cheese is a nice emergency dinner when needed. But America's favorite sandwich? Please.
This is like when "Little House on the Prairie" was voted the favorite dramatic TV program and Burt Reynolds was chosen the favorite all-around male entertainer at the 1979 People's Choice Awards. I mean they're fine, but really?
(That was the first reference to the 1979 People's Choice Awards since March 8, 1979, the the day after the show aired.)
First, some details. The YouGov people gave a sandwich credit for the list based on the percentage of people who said they "really like" or "somewhat like" the food. In order, the top five were grilled cheese (79 percent), grilled chicken (75 percent), turkey (75 percent) roast beef (71 percent), ham (69 percent).
For clarity, if you ranked sandwiches by how many people said they "really liked" them, the list would be slightly different: Grilled cheese still would rank first, but BLT would leap all the way from No. 6 to No. 2. Very few people "somewhat like" BLT sandwiches.
The eighth-ranked sandwich–just ahead of PB&J–was a bacon sandwich. Bacon sandwich? Really? How about pizza sandwich? Or chocolate-pie sandwich? A bacon sandwich sounds delicious, but it's not a real thing.
A closer look at the results reveals that those who love PB&J sandwiches tend to be members of Generation X and older (about 35 and older), less-educated and live in rural areas. You know, the salt of the earth people, not those city slickers who like fancy sandwiches.
I have no objection to grilled cheese sandwiches or turkey sandwiches or grilled chicken sandwiches. But peanut butter and jelly sandwiches contain a lot of protein and a lot of fruit (allegedly). Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches are easy to make: all you need is bread and two ingredients that come in jars. You can make them in the morning and they're still good in the afternoon.
They were good when you were 3. They are good when you're a teenager. They're good when you're an adult.
The fact that peanut butter and jelly sandwiches ranked ninth among Americans just shows that most people who took the survey are full of bologna.
The survey, however, wasn't. Because bologna sandwiches didn't make the list.
Reach Brad Stanhope at bradstanhope@hotmail.com.
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