Rules for sports fans on amnesty, favorite teams, more

Free agency is a staple of modern professional sports: Star players finish their contract and switch teams. Someone is on our favorite team and suddenly they're gone, off in pursuit of greener pastures.

Since players switch teams all the time, can fans do the same?

Good question. Fortunately, there are rules.

Do fan "rules" have legal power? No, but they should, because like other social contracts (don't talk with your mouth full, don't make eye contact in elevators, drive at least 70 mph in the fast lane), we rely on rules to keep things straight. If you violate fan rules, you're like the person driving 50 mph in the fast lane and you don't want that.

We'll address the issue using the Socratic method, in which we engage in a friendly back-and-forth, asking and answering questions. This style was made famous by Socrates, who used just one name, like Pele, LeBron, O.J. and Charo.

Here are the rules on picking a favorite team, "fan amnesty" and more.

Q: Are there rules about picking a favorite team?

No. Pick whatever team you want, although geography is a major consideration (pick a local team!). Still, picking any team is fine, if you acknowledge that choosing a team based on the fact that it was successful in your childhood (hello, Lakers and Cowboys fans of my age!), you are a front-runner.

Q: Is it acceptable to have a "second team"?

No. People who have "second teams" aren't committed to their first team, in the same way that you can't have a second spouse while you're married. If you are an Oakland A's fan, they're your team. No sneaking around on them. No cheating. You're committed. Just. One. Team. Per. Sport.

Q: Is it ever OK to change favorite teams? Do you believe in the concept of "fan amnesty?"

Fan amnesty (when you can freely switch allegiances) is acceptable, but only in extreme circumstances (this is beginning to read like a 1930s view of divorce). Here is a short list of when it's OK to abandon your favorite team: 1. When you relocate and were a fan of the local team but didn't care that deeply about it. 2. When your team has gone a minimum of 15 years without a serious championship run and management is terrible. 3. When your team is moving to Las Vegas after previously moving to Los Angeles, then returning to Oakland.

Those aren't reasons you have to change, they're just reasons you can. Warning: You are not allowed to return. In marriage terms,  you can't remarry the team you divorced.

Q: If I really admire someone on another team, can I cheer for their team?

You can pick that admired player in a fantasy league, you can buy their jersey (although you shouldn't), you can follow them on Twitter or Instagram. But they're on another team, so you can't cheer for their team.

Q: If my team has terrible management, coaching or reprehensible players, can I switch to another team?

Only if  they haven't contended for a title in at least 15 years, as mentioned earlier.

Q: Who do I support if my team misses the playoffs?

This is the easiest and most obvious decision. If (or when, if you are a Sacramento Kings fan) your team misses the playoffs,  you root against your rival. In other words, when the Giants miss the baseball playoffs, Giants fans become fans of whomever the Dodgers play. Raiders fans root against the Chiefs, Chargers, Broncos, Steelers, Patriots or any other team.

Q: Did you really cite Charo as one-name star earlier?

Yes. I picked her as my favorite flamenco guitarist as a child, because I was a front-runner. But I'm loyal.

Reach Brad Stanhope at bradstanhope@hotmail.com.