But I'm prone to overstatement: We narrowly escaped death!
Epic storms. Vicious sea creatures. Violent seas. Shaved ice.
It was the most danger-fraught visit to Hawaii since the Brady family visited in 1972 and stumbled across a dangerous tiki idol, which resulted in a surfing accident for Greg, a near-tarantula bite for Peter and a menacing encounter with Vincent Price for all three boys.
We similarly overcame three potential disasters and survived.
Mrs. Brad and I visited the Hawaiian island of Kauai when the biggest flooding in years hit. It included the most rain in one day in island history – more than 28 inches in a 24-hour period for one area, which included eight hours of nonstop thunder and lightning.
Of course, that was the northern edge of the island and we were in the south. But still . . . we could have died. If we'd been in a different location.
The storm definitely impacted our lives – I was awoken by a phone call warning of flash floods. It said to move to high ground, so I did, by getting back in bed.
In the time we were there, hundreds of people were evacuated, the main highway was washed out and . . . we had to endure some sprinkles at the beach.
I checked in as "safe" on Facebook.
A near-death experience!
The flooding wasn't all. While Mrs. Brad and I were hiking at a beach, a surfer was attacked by a shark. He fought it off, but suffered leg wounds.
That could have been us . . . had the shark come up on land and attacked us during our hike. A land shark!
The victim of the attack became a national focus after it came out that he was previously bitten by a bear and a rattlesnake, which makes him either the luckiest or unluckiest man on Earth. All I know is that I feel lucky to have avoided his fate.
Another near-death experience!
Our lone extracurricular excursion involved a five-hour ride on a catamaran, going to the remote Napali Coast. It was great for the first 45 minutes, then I got violently seasick and spent the next few hours alternating between vomiting and staring into a bucket and fighting off nausea. All I could think was, "If I had just been attacked by a shark, this wouldn't have happened." Meanwhile, my shipmates moved as far from me as possible.
It was another near-death experience!
By the time we ended our 10 days on the island, we were ready to come home. We survived flooding, shark attacks and seasickness. And a bunch of days at the beach, relaxing. Which is dangerous in its own right.
Here's all I know about Hawaii, based on my experience and watching "The Brady Bunch": It can be scary.
If you have a trip planned, be careful.
If you'd rather pass and have Mrs. Brad and I go in your stead, we understand and are willing to take your place.
We're brave that way.
Mahalo. It's good to still be alive.
Reach Brad Stanhope at bradstanhope@hotmail.com.
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