Mystifying, maddening editorial cartoons

I love nearly everything about newspapers.

I love the news and photos and local coverage. I love the mix of international, national, state and local news – as well as feature and sports articles.

That's not all. I love the fact that subscribers get a free rubber band every day. I love that there is a sports scoreboard page, showing the standings as of midnight the night before. I love that I can find out why there were sirens in my neighborhood. I love the advice columns, where I can take comfort from people more dysfunctional than me.

I spent decades working in newsrooms. I just don't understand editorial cartoons.

In many ways, editorial cartoons are a throwback – a daily effort by people to combine art with political commentary.

Except it's not really art. And the commentary often escapes me.

You probably understand them better than me. I should be ashamed of this, since picking the editorial cartoon du jour was one of my jobs during my run as news editor at the Daily Republic.

The truth: I often guessed. I didn't really understand what the artists were saying. So I'd make a best guess and rely on my colleagues to catch a mistake.

The inability to understand art isn't unique to me, I realize. Many of us  go to a museum or art show and then stare at art, purse our lips and nod.

"Mmmm. Interesting," we say.

But we don't understand. (This makes me sad. My son is a professional artist, with a degree in illustration. I would like to think I understand most of his work. But maybe not. And at least he's not an editorial cartoonist.)

Anyway, back to the editorial cartoon. Most of them aren't that artistic, unless the artist is a third-grader with a box of crayons or a water-color set. The drawings in editorial cartoons are often just a step above stick figures. They're just more sophisticated because they allegedly have a political message.

Here's the typical cartoon (at least in my memory): A badly drawn caricature of the president (could be Obama, could be Trump, could be Gerald Ford) with a smoking building in the background, labeled as "special interests." There is a donkey in one corner labeled "Dem's expectations" and a little man in the other corner saying "Don't ask me. I saw nothing."

Underneath the entire confusing picture is the caption, which ties it all together. Except it's often something like "Business as usual!"

What? Who?

I have no idea what it means. I have no idea what most editorial cartoons mean and sometimes I wonder whether they're some sort of secret communication designed to mock me.

Sophisticated people love editorial cartoons. They even occasionally share one on social media or reference them in conversation.

I don't understand them.

I follow the news. I like politics. But I didn't understand the editorial cartoons when I was a kid, I didn't understand them when I was a sports writer, I didn't understand them when I was choosing them and I don't understand them now.

Wait a minute. Maybe that's the meaning of "Business as usual!"

Mmmm. Interesting.

Reach Brad Stanhope at bradstanhope@hotmail.com.