Previous addiction to soap opera reveals much

I hit cultural rock-bottom when I was in my late 20s: I was addicted to a soap opera TV show.

I'm grateful to still be around.

The problems started almost three decades ago – in the late 1980s, to be precise. I hadn't watched soap operas, because they were ridiculous. They seemed as bad as the parodies that appeared on shows such as "The Carol Burnett Show," where they would exaggerate the absurd nature of the over-the-top drama.

Then came Mrs. Brad's lunch breaks.

I was working evenings at the Daily Republic and Mrs. Brad had a day job in town, resulting in a lunch hour together daily. She would come home while I was getting ready to head to the office. We ate, talked . . . and soon, we watched "All My Children," something she had done as a teen.

It was as silly as I expected, but it was a comfortable habit in the pre-DVR, pre-Netflix days. On "All My Children," the denizens of Pine Valley went about their lives, with divorces, affairs, arrests, schemes, etc. It was entertaining in a strange way.

Soon it was appointment television. Then it became worth recording on our primitive VCR, to be sure we didn't miss anything.

The best part? Several co-workers watched it, too. So I could casually enter conversation about Adam Chandler and Palmer Courtlandt. We could talk about how ridiculous it was that Erica Kane was dating a Russian prince. We could laugh at the antics of teenage Hayley (played by Kelly Ripa!).

It became a regular event. Every day at noon, Mrs. Brad and I would watch. When our first son was born, it was nice to be able to unplug and watch while he slept or ate or crawled. We recorded all episodes, so we wouldn't be slaves to the TV schedule.

It seemed normal.

And then . . .

One day, I gave a ride to a co-worker who was a casual watcher of the program. He asked what was happening on "All My Children."

"Well, Natalie is in a coma but we found out she has a twin sister named Janet," I told him. "Janet pretended to be Natalie and steal Trevor and he doesn't know the truth. Erica and Travis' marriage is on the rocks, and she looks like she's going to hook up with his brother, Jackson. And then Tad and Dixie are . . ."

I heard myself. I sounded like a Carol Burnett character describing an over-the-top soap opera in a skit: "As the Stomach Turns."

It was an eye-opener. I had gone from skeptic to sampler to true believer.

In two years, I had accepted that it was normal for a man in his 20s to watch a silly soap opera and follow the plot.

I felt ridiculous.

Mrs. Brad and I talked and decided it was enough. We stopped watching "All My Children." I went back to mocking those who do.

But whenever I get too carried away making fun of someone for being plugged into "Vanderpump Rules" or "The Real Housewives of Atlanta," I think back to that time when Mrs. Brad and I fell into a trap and became fanatics for "All My Children."

I'm grateful that it's behind me.

The only thing worse than being addicted to a soap opera (which is now off the air) would be to have 10 marriages, like Erica Kane!

Reach Brad Stanhope at bradstanhope@hotmail.com.