Norwegian TV makes boredom exciting

You know what they say about Norwegians.

Neither do I, but here's what they should say: Norwegians sure like slow TV.

I learned that recently when Mrs. Brad and I (well, mostly Mrs. Brad) started watching "Slow TV" programs from Norway that are now on Netflix. So far, we've watched the seven-hour "Train Ride, Bergen to Oslo" and now we're viewing the 11-plus-hour "Telemark Canal."

What are they, you ask? "Train Ride, Bergen to Oslo" is seven hours of video shot from the front of a train making the trip from . . . Bergen to Oslo. "Telemark Canal" records an 11-hour boat ride through Norway's . . . Telemark Canal.

They're exactly what they say they are. But longer. Hours, hours and hours of slow-moving, beautiful scenery and almost no dialogue (especially if you don't speak Norwegian).

Mrs. Brad likes it.

In fact, I came home after an evening meeting recently to find her watching a train go through the Norwegian mountains in silence.

"Are you watching this? Seriously?" I asked her, in the same tone teenage Brad asked my parents if they really wanted to have another cup of coffee after eating dinner at a restaurant.

It's another example of how we're different.

The greatest thing I saw on TV recently was the "Skills Challenge" at the NFL Pro Bowl in late January. I haven't watched a Pro Bowl since I was about 10, but the skills challenge was awesome.

It involved quarterbacks throwing at moving targets, like in a carnival; wide receivers catching balls dropped by drones (drones!) flying 80 to 125 feet above them; a multiplayer relay race; and best of all, a 10-on-10 dodgeball competition with the same rules you had in middle school (if they catch it, you're out. If you hit someone in the head, you're out. And so on.). While Mrs. Brad was busy in another room, I gripped the arms of my chair, hoping Indianapolis Colts receiver T.Y. Hilton could keep catching balls fired at him by eight players on the other team.

"This is the greatest thing I've ever seen!" I shouted.

"That's nice," she said, probably thinking of how peaceful it would be to take a solo train ride through the Norwegian countryside.

And it would be, based on "Train Ride, Bergen to Oslo." I watched several hours with Mrs. Brad (a great way to relax during a 15-minute Golden State Warriors halftime, by the way) and we amused ourselves by guessing how to spell the cities that were overheard on the PA system (most sounded like "Hernenbergen" to me).

Slow TV is a thing in Norway. Norwegians consistently tune into the slow programs on NRK, the nation's public broadcasting network. As many as 40 percent of Norwegians have watched various slow programs, which include such things as the opening day of fishing season, firewood chopping and the subsequent fire, a knitting marathon and more.

According to the people who write about Netflix, it's an emerging trend here, too. Mrs. Brad sure thinks so, although I hope she draws the line at the knitting marathon.

I'll keep watching "Telemark Canal," because I'm interested in a peaceful program, the waterways of Norway and spending time with Mrs. Brad.

However, if they can drop a football from a drone to someone on the ship or have a game of dodgeball break out?

We'll both be thrilled!

Reach Brad Stanhope at bradstanhope@hotmail.com.