Seventeen sure-fire predictions for '17

Anyone can write about the past year: The biggest news, the celebrity deaths, the natural disasters, the political stunners.

I  predict the future. That's right, on the first day of 2017, I will issue 17 predictions for 2017 that will – or should – come true.

Ready to hear what happens in the next 12 months?

Here we go:

• A famous celebrity who you haven't thought about for years will die and you will be slightly sad. Social media posts will make it seem like the worst death since the JFK assassination.

• In mid-September, a company will announce a new product with "pumpkin spice" flavor and people will erupt in joy. Others will realize that we lived most of our lives without "pumpkin spice" and won't be excited. The company will make a lot of money.

• The Golden State Warriors will win the NBA title. Please.

• You will wait in the parking lot at the grocery store while some guy backs into a parking spot, not only irritating you, but ignoring the fact that it's much easier to back out of a spot than to back into one.

• In May, it will be cool and rainy and someone will tell you they're tired of winter and ready for summer.

• In October, it will be hot and the same person will tell you they're tired of summer and ready for winter.

• Fake news will continue to prosper because while we oppose it, we love when it reinforces what we already believe.

• Movie fans will get excited about a film version of a 1980's or 1990's TV series that you don't really remember ("Northern Exposure?" "Nash Bridges?"). The movie will flop.

• If you go to the Solano County Fair, you'll think this is the year that the turkey leg or the deep-fried Twinkies will taste good. They'll just give you a stomachache. Again.

• In my annual December column about Solano County, I will remember that Harry Price was elected to the Fairfield City Council in 1997, but didn't become mayor until 2005. (This counts as a correction of last week's column).

• Someone will say, "Boy, things have really changed in Fairfield," and everyone will agree with them – although the biggest change may be that the speaker is just older.

• Friends will talk about a new series on Netflix or Amazon and you'll watch it. It will be pretty good, but you won't understand why people acted like it was life-changing.

• The price of gas will be lamented because it's so low that it's hurting our economy, or it's so high it's hurting our economy.

• The day before you have an important meeting or date, you'll awake to find a pimple on your nose, and say, "I thought this would end when I turned 20!"

• "Star Wars Episode VIII" will be released in December as "one of the best 'Star Wars' ever." I won't see it.

• A new smartphone-based game or app will take over the world for about a month. And then we'll forget about it. (Yes, I'm talking about you, Pokemon Go.)

• In the final week of 2017, people will lament what a terrible year it was and eagerly welcome 2018, with hopes that it will be better.

Reach Brad Stanhope at bradstanhope@hotmail.com.