Sunday, January 10, 2016

Presidential candidates and local connections


It's a presidential election year and the choices are almost too varied for a rational human being.

Should you support Trump? Clinton? Cruz? Sanders? Rubio? Christie? Jingleheimer-Schmidt?

Who are these people? And why do they have my name, too? (Side note: It's ridiculous that people always shout whenever we go out.)

Admit it: We all need help to pick a candidate. That's why I will provide an additional bit of information to help you in the following paragraphs, revealing local connections for each candidate. Because, as Tip O'Neill once said, "all politics is local" (That was right before he said, "With this nickname, I'm forced to give 20 or 25 percent of the bill to all my waiters!")

Yes, you read that right: Tip O'Neill was a big tipper. And every major candidate for president has a connection to Solano County. Intrigued? Interested? Me, too. So read on for a brief description and their local connection – and then you can make your decision.

The local connection for each of the 11 major candidates for president, in alphabetical order.

Jeb Bush. The former Florida governor was the early Republican front-runner. Local connection: Jarrett Bush played football at Will C. Wood High in Vacaville and spent nine years in the NFL. He is J. Bush. So is the candidate. Boom! Local connection!

Ben Carson. The famed neurosurgeon moved his way up the Republican ranks during the fall before questions about his biography started a slide. Local connection: There are many doctors in Solano County. Like Carson.

Hillary Clinton. The former first lady, senator and secretary of state is the Democratic front-runner. Local connection: I once described the terrain of Suisun Hill at Rush Ranch thusly to a friend: "It's pretty hillary out there."

Chris Christie. The governor of New Jersey has struggled to gain traction in the Republican race, but still maintains a high profile. Local connection: He loves donuts. And there are a lot of local donut shops. Or doughnut shops. Whatever.

Ted Cruz. The Texas senator has moved into the second Republican spot in national polls behind Donald Trump. His local connection: For years, one of the favorite activities for Fairfield-Suisun City teens was a cruise. On West Texas Street and North Texas Street. A cruise. On Texas. Texas. Cruz. Get it?

Carly Fiorina. The Republican businesswoman gains respect during the debates, then falls in polls. Local connection: She was the CEO of Hewlett-Packard in the early 2000s. Many Solano County residents own H-P products.

John Kasich. The former Ohio governor is a mainstream Republican candidate who is a foreign policy expert, but hasn't gained much support. Local connection: There is an Ohio Street in Fairfield and undoubtedly someone named John lives there. That guy might call himself the governor of Ohio (Street), right?

Rand Paul. The Republican senator from Kentucky is moving up in the polls, partly because of his libertarian stances. Local connection: Rick Jensen is a former Daily Republic sports editor. Paul Farmer is the current sports editor. Put them together, it's "R and Paul." Rand Paul.

Marco Rubio. The Florida Republican senator is a mainstream choice because of his youth and speaking skills. Local connection: Every summer, local swimming pools are filled with children playing a game that sounds like "Marco Rubio."

Bernie Sanders. The socialist-leaning Democrat senator from Vermont has been a popular alternative to Clinton, although he hasn't caught her. Local connection: Bernie Sanders could conceivably be related to Col. Sanders, the icon for several local KFC franchises.

Donald Trump. The real estate mogul has led the Republican race for months and has an opinion on nearly everything. Local connection: He owns a bunch of hotels. There are many hotels in the county.

There you go. Eleven candidates, 11 local connections.

Be sure to vote your conscience. Because the terrain might get a little hillary.

Brad Stanhope is a former Daily Republic editor. Reach him at bradstanhope@hotmail.com.

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