Learning about love from a TV dating show

I've got plenty of excuses – it doesn't mean anything. I do it as a tradeoff for the sports that Mrs. Brad watches. Our house is small, so I can't really ignore it. But the next paragraph is the truth.

I watch "The Bachelor" and "The Bachelorette."

With Mrs. Brad, of course. Because, well . . .  re-read the first paragraph.

In case you don't know about the two television shows (really one show, alternating between seasons) here is a brief description: One person "dates" 25 people of the opposite sex, eliminating bad prospects each week until there's just one. The final show is set up to include a dramatic proposal.

And there's also this: The contestants are universally young, attractive and white (despite efforts to bring diversity, the top 10 or so are always white. And they're always in their 20s and 30s. But they're especially white).

The demographic of the viewers, based on logic and audiences at their live shows (a "tell-all" episode with the losers and the finale) is suburban women, 25 to 60. And their beat-down spouses (see first paragraph).

It's a stupid show, which I said several times to Mrs. Brad before learning to keep quiet. However, it does provide some insight into what people – at least the producers of the show – think that the audience believes.

At least that's what I tell myself as I write this, inviting humiliation.

Some examples of "Bachelor/Bachelorette" dating philosophies:

1. People should accept "falling in love" with someone who is "dating" (and making out) with two dozen other people. To be jealous or upset reveals that you don't know how to play the game (or in "Bachelor"-speak, you might not be there for the "right reasons."). This is all despite the fact that accepting that kind of behavior in real life is sociopathic.

2. The way to "take the next step" and "open up" to someone is to tell them something that you haven't regularly told others. Maybe it's that you cheated on your spouse and were thrown out. Maybe it's that your dog died when you were 9 and you are still heartbroken. Maybe it's that you have three elbows. Anything. But tell them something secret and you've really taken the next step.

3. Men who cry are sensitive. Regardless of whether they're jerks. If they cry, they're sensitive. Women apparently love that.

4. The real way to have a romantic date is to have an iconic spot to yourself and then have a popular band (usually one I've never heard of) play a song while you dance. That's romantic, even though it takes a TV network and a team of people working for the producer to make it happen.

5. The poor beautiful young people (often models or fitness instructors) who get eliminated on the show are crushed because they thought this was their true love, and because they'll never get another shot at finding someone because they're just young, wealthy and have been on TV for several weeks.

6. The audience believes that men sometimes actually sit around and talk about how they're falling in love with a woman in the same way that 13-year-old girls talk.

It's a ridiculous show with an absurd premise. I just hope Kaitlyn finds true love with Nick, Shawn or Ben!

Brad Stanhope is a former Daily Republic editor. Reach him at bradstanhope@hotmail.com.