Tuesday is Election Day, which means we get a chance to vote on all kinds of things that we don't know much about (who can tell me what the difference is between the state controller and the state treasurer?). But we love voting – we vote for people on American Idol, we vote for baseball All-Stars and we vote in the Daily Republic weekly pulse poll. Or we should.
But isn't it time we vote on things that really matter? (By saying that, I'm not diminishing the importance of the pulse poll. Or the initiative about the state reserve, as if I know anything about that.)
Still, I'm ready for something bigger. I'm ready to suggest some initiatives that will make us care.
Don't you think there would be a bigger voter turnout if the ballot included things like:
Grocery store item relocation initiative. Forbids grocery stores from rearranging items more than once every four years – and that can't be done without advance notice and public input. They're allowed to set aside two aisles per store that can be used experimentally – but they must be the aisles now being used to push Christmas items or Raiders and 49ers gear. They're already experimental.
The you-can't-change-it-so-stop-complaining initiative. Mandates that adults over 50 can't complain about things that won't change and have been around for a long time. The two most obvious items: That young men's pants sag (it's been happening for more than a decade) and that homeless people have cellphones (It's 2014. Get used to it. Everyone has one). The exception is for things that bug me.
Election mailer limitation. Makes it illegal for political candidates to send multiple mailers to every home in their district on the same day. You can't stop them from doing mailers, but this will limit them to no more than one per day per candidate. Multiple mailers on the same day is ridiculous. That's right, Jim Spering and Pam Bertani. I'm talking about you.
Dumb sports graphics elimination. Requires TV networks to quit using stupid graphics during sports events, especially ones like the pitch-tracking graphic used by Fox during the World Series. Yes, a pitch leaves the pitcher's hand and sails downward until it hits the catcher's mitt. We don't need a yellow line to see that, Fox. A companion bill would limit replays to three per play during sporting events (did you see the World Series? Each close play was shown a dozen times).
Daylight saving time provision. Allows individuals to opt out of the daylight saving time program, keeping the same hours year-round. It allows the rational people among us to retain daylight saving time all 12 months and also allows the Flat Earth Society folks, who hate daylight saving time, to continue their old-timey lifestyles all summer long while riding their mule-drawn carriages to their jobs. It would require employers and all transportation services to adapt a flexible plan and publish schedules using some universal (daylight time!) standard.
Corporate voicemail maze elimination act. Requires all voicemail systems to give you an option of pressing a number to speak to a human within the first two minutes and that the discussion with the human beings occur within five minutes. The penalty for failing to follow law? The company's top executives must spend a full day navigating the phone system of a business in another industry, only to have their calls dropped several times.
Giants win every other year law. Oh, never mind. We don't need a law. It just happens.
Brad Stanhope is a former Daily Republic editor. Reach him at bradstanhope@hotmail.com.
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